Never again (Quinntana)

Chapter 53 - Guardian Angel

Brittany had found Santana curled up in a ball. Sobs were shaking her, and it was all Brittany could do to hug her and hope it would pass. "I hurt her. I hurt her, I hurt her, I hurt her", Santana chanted.

It looked as though she wasn't really conscious of Brittany's presence. Her body was reacting, pressing against Brittany's for support, but her mind was elsewhere.

"She'll come around, San". Brittany had guessed it was about Quinn. 

"No- she- she- she had that same look in her eyes- the night she left, and I-"

"Shh-"

Santana never knew how she got home that night. She awoke in her own bed, Brittany snuggling against her.

Her make up had been removed, her cheeks cleared of the mascara stains. Her best friend was once again sleeping beside her.

Santana felt empty. As if any ability to feel had escaped her, sliding away like color washed away by the rain. She should have felt grateful to Brittany, but all she felt was numb. She should have felt sad, or angry, about Quinn. Except that her brain refused to process it.

Lucy Caboosey. That was the name the bullies used, in middle school. Lucy had told Santana how she felt about it. It wasn't just the name. It was everything that surrounded it, the way it made her feel. Worthless. Ugly. Useless. Pathetic. The exact words Santana had used against her at the party.

Quinn's face at that moment was etched in her mind. She saw the tear roll on Quinn's cheek on repeat. She saw the hurt. But most of all, the more the scene replayed, the more she noticed the lack of surprise.

As if Quinn had always been convinced that was Santana's opinion all along. That she had been pretending to be her friend all that time.

***

Credits go to Afterlaughs (https://www.deviantart.com/afterlaughs) for the drawing 😊

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Cheers,

Alya