Just about my feelings

independent

I can't sleep. I have so much stuff in my mind.
I want to meet a good friend tomorrow. But if I told my parents about that they wouldn't let me go. Although there would be no corona. I don't know why. I mean.. apart from that I'm 22.. I think they wanna kinda control me..? I really don't know. I really don't get it. Why am I not allowed to do my thing..? It was also like this before corona. I'm so exhausted.
I'm 22. Slowly I begin to love myself. I'm not ashamed anymore to speak out my mind about different things like feminism, lgbtq issues, politics, and in general human rights. But when I'm with my family I feel like I have to shut up. I'm not allowed to say my own opinion.
I was always a feminist. But when my depression started I didn't care about it, I was captured. But in 2019 I began to take antidepressants. After few weeks I felt like a fighter again. I realised that my former boyfriend was, and still is, such a sexist. I was so fucking annoyed by him. And of course he thought I was on my period.. no, I wasn't. I just got my personality back.
Back to the origin topic lmao.. anyways, my whole teenage years my mum didn't let me go out for a party yk. I don't like parties but she still doesn't like it when I go out and don't eat at home and don't talk with my them. I just don't know what I should say. No one is interested in my hobbies and when I say I enjoy to listen to kpop they make fun of me.. I don't get it. I'm exhausted. I can't live like this anymore.

Please stay safe and healthy. And if something bad happens at home, please don't hesitate and reach out for help, professional help. My parents aren't physical abusive towards me but psychological. Both of them aren't good. I already seek for help and I don't know if I can move out but I really hope it. But please, if something happens to you or family members, call for help.
Love y'all,
- jae