give up

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Hello there.
I gave up on dating. It's not worth it. I always get rejected.
Sometimes I ask myself why. I don't know it. It's the worst feeling ever. And I'm sad about it. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna lose them as a friend but once I get rejected I can't interact anymore.
I always get rejected by girls. And boys always stalk me after I rejected them. Whyy? I'm so frustrated with this. It's always the same.
I want to cut myself again and I want to die. It doesn't anyway if I die. Cuz no one will notice it I guess. Cuz I'm not important or unique. I'm not pretty, neither inside nor outside. I don't even know what my personality is or which attitudes I have. I don't even care what others think about me. But in some time I wanna marry my future girlfriend. But when so many people doesn't like me, then I won't get a girlfriend.. and so on. It has even nothing to do with my taste in music. People doesn't like me in general. And I begin to think that my colleagues also don't like me.. yeah, I have got trust issues lmao

- jae

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