insomnia

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Hello guys, it's me again. I'm awake since 4am and I can't sleep. I don't know even why. I don't have negative thoughts in my mind tbh. So why can I not sleep? It's so weird.
But yeah, I went out yesterday and I did meet up with my friend, and I really enjoyed it. My parents weren't happy about it that I left the house but I don't regret it, and I didn't even lie to them. I just said that I wanna looking for books. And it was the truth, I was looking for books. But well, my parents didn't believe me I guess but idc tbh. I just want to be myself, that's all. And c'mon, I only met one person. It's very exhausting for me.
actually I'm a introverted person. But I need someone who I can talk about everything, and it's weird for me to text about my matters only. I want to talk in person, that's very important for me.
But yes I was really happy that I could meet up with my precious friend. When I see my friend in person, my mood is very well and my anxiety goes away, I just feel safe. I'm kinda extraordinary I would say and people usually looks at me like "omg, what's this person wearing??" Of course I don't give a fuck cuz I really like how I dress but sometimes those people gives me so much anxiety. But when I'm with my friends I feel safer.

and I really hope that y'all are doing well. and if you struggle with something, please reach for professional help. It's very important that you emotionally/physically okay. Search up for some help-hotlines. It's okay if you don't feel well, just make sure that you get help cuz the first person in your life is always yourself.
Love y'all,
- jae

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