Finding his soul

34

It's been 3 months and I'm starting to show. Kaden's been going in and out of the house a lot...I'm worried about him, not for his sake but for mine.

I think he's cheating on me, I don't know who with but I have a feeling it's Amy, we still sleep in the same bed we just don't talk and it's very blunt.

I'm now 6 months pregnant and I can't wait to see these babies, Kaden and I have been getting into arguments but I'm worried about myself, my mental state and what's happening with my life.

My moms been here and she's been very supportive, but ok the other hand my father hates being here, he doesn't like being with me or even in the same room.

I heard the front door shut and saw Kaden walk in shirtless, I'll admit it's a sight I could never get over, how hot he looked with sweat dripping down his body.

If we were in a good place right now I'd kiss him but I don't want to plus my moms here.

He walked up to me and leaned in for a kiss, i turned my head and he ended up kissing my cheek.

I looked at him and saw him look at me, his eyes looked so dark but the green in his eyes are what always drew me to his face.

"It's fine, you don't have to apologize for anything it's my fault" he whispered.

"I just don't think this is the right time" I said playing with my engagement ring.

"Yeah" he said nodding, I looked back at the Tv and saw Kaden go upstairs.

"Trouble in paradise" I heard my mom say.

"It's nothing mom" I said.

"Clearly there's something, that man walked in here excited as he could he and he saw his fiancée watching whatever this is and he thought...oh wow look at how beautiful she is and went for a kiss which you denied" my mom said looking at me.

"I'm just not in the mood to talk to him" Is said looking at my stomach.

"Naomi I know that I've been in the house and I know it's awkward to do things with your mother here but it's been three months since you've done anything with him" my mother said trying to keep her voice low.

"We'll life isn't always about sex" I said looking down.

"Honey we know that but think about how he feels for just a second, he's patiently waiting for these beautiful twins to come out and he can't even get a kiss from the woman he loves" my mom said holding my hand.

"He doesn't deserve my attention" I said looking at my hands.

"So it's over then, once you have these babies you'll leave him?" My mom said.

"N-no maybe not" I said.

"Naomi honey, he doesn't deserve this, no man deserves to not be shown love"

"How do you know he's not cheating on me?" I said angrily at my mom.

"You think that man is cheating on you?" My mom laughed.

"do you know what he's been doing for you and you think he's cheating, he's been in and out of this house doing so many things to prep for these babies and you think he's cheating"

"Yes" I said looking at my mom.

"Honey no, if he was cheating on you he wouldn't look at you the way he does, he wouldn't give a crap about how you feel..do you notice that every time you say you're hungry or you're sick he runs out the house to go straight to the store"

"You don't have to lie for him" I said looking at the necklace on my moms neck.

"Naomi he's in love with you and you'd be an idiot to not see it, when he leaves the house he buys you medicine and he comes back with all these things that will help and he makes sure that they won't affect the babies"

"He doesn't do that mom you do" I said angrily.

"It's not me honey, he tells me to take credit because he knows that if he does anything good it won't change your current perspective on him" she said walking to the kitchen.

If that's true then I was completely wrong, the whole time it thought my mom was bringing me medicine.

I walked to our room and saw Kaden writing something in his journal I walked behind him and saw him quickly shut it, he looked up at me from the mirror and we made eye contact, I looked away first.

"I-Are you okay?" He asked.

I needed to try and kiss him, I needed his physical touch, the touch I missed.

I leaned in to kiss him and pressed my lips against his, I pulled away and saw him look down.

He stood up and walked towards where we kept our personal towels and he took one and shut the door and looked at me.

"I'm going to go to the gym downstairs" he said looking at me, I could tell he wasn't looking at my face, just my stomach.

I watched as he walked out and I tried to process what just happened:

I walked downstairs and saw my mom watching tv, I walked downstairs and walked through the hallways, I saw the gym and I watched as Kaden lifted heavy weights.

I could see his back muscles moving every time he pushed the bar up, all I could imagine was the time when I had left scratches down his back from that one night.

I bit my lip and saw Kaden change the weights, I walked in and saw him look down, he cleared his throat and I looked at the weights.

His veiny hands were all I could focus on, I wanted them all over my body, I needed his touch more than I knew.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" he said running his hands through his hair.

God that soft black hair, I wish it was beneath me right now or even in front of me, I wanted to run my hands through his hair right now, I wish I could kiss his lips over and over.

Or have him kiss every inch of my body.

"I do Kaden, it's my fault" I said.

"Stop apologizing Naomi, I heard you and your mother okay and I'm fine, I don't need physical touch to live and I can assure you that I'm not cheating" he said fixing the weights.

"I know that i just-"

"Did you really know that or did you just have to ask because that's how much you don't trust me" he said looking up at me, I wanted to kiss him badly right now.

Touch him

Pleasure him

That's all that was going through my mind, him.

"I'm frustrated okay, I need physical touch and I haven't been touched anywhere in months, I don't even remember what it feel like" I said annoyed.

"I'm sorry okay but right now I'm not in the mood to kiss and all that" he said lifting the weights onto the bar.

"So you don't want to touch me at all?" I asked.

"I never said that, I just said I've not been in the mood" he said looking down.

"Okay that's fine" I said looking away.