𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛.✔️

#44

Essence (TW:abuse)

"You're useless" he spat on me throwing me off the bed, body hit the hard floor jolting me to awaken, I looked around the room terrified

"Wha-what?" I steadily asked as burning tears scorched down my cheek, I could barely breathe it felt as if I had been lunched in the gut and all the wind was pushed out of me, all the oxygen

"Your stupid self woke me up from my sleep with your stupid nightmares" he yelled from the bed, my lip quivered uncontrollably, I was gasping through the sobs I failed to keep in, "now your fucking crying" he rolled his eyes standing up from the be walking to me

I quickly kicked my get backing myself up to hit the wall, he smirked at my actions, I knew every time I moved or flinched it'd be worse it always was

My body was half asleep but my eyes were as wide as they could be, "I didn't m-meant-to I promised" I gasped between words, he came closer and kneeled in front of me grabbing my cheeks

"I know I know mon bébé" (my baby) he whispered, I knew he was faking "that's why I'm so sorry to do this," he said leaning back and punching me square in the eye, the back of my head hit the wall behind me hard

"No no no!" I cried moving around in the bed, a heavy arm was placed around my waist keeping captive "no-no please let me go" I cried harder

"Essence?" A soft voice rang in my ear, I kept chanting 'no's' while my soaked red stained cheeks were grabbed "look at me" my eyes stayed shut tightly "please" he whispered

I opened my eyes releasing more tears to fall all over his now soaked hands, "don't hurt me, I'm sorry I didn't mean to" I shook my head frantically

Killian's eyes filled with confusion and worry he looked into my eyes trying to figure me out "no no don't say sorry it's ok, I would never hurt you" he said honestly

I didn't say anything, my head kept shaking back and forth, I tried breathing slower to his chants and his calming words, he held me so close and soft like I was so fragile and going to leave his arms any second

"Cosa ti é successo?" (what happened to you?) he whispered to me, small sobs kept escaping my lips as he rubbed my back, why was he being so nice to me? I don't want to fall for him, I know I'm going to, I'm scared.

My head laid against his chest listening to his heartbeat until I blacked

———

I woke up to soft breathes right by my ear, I rubbed my eyes and opened them wider, Killian's eyes were closed and his body was around mine protectively, had we slept the whole night?

Shit, I need to pee, should I just wake him up? Fuck Essence it's going to be awkward then...
Ok small movements, I grabbed one of his arms and raised it slightly while picking up a pillow with my other to replace me

I scrunched my face trying to slide out of his arms, he inhaled deeply as if he was waking up making my eyes go wide, he exhaled and grabbed my body tighter rolling us over in the process so that he was right on me, his whole. Body!

Fucking hell! I rolled my eyes staring at the ceiling my arms by my side while his head was in the crook of my neck inhaling me, what am I going to do now? Great—

"Hey" I whispered poking his back "Killian" I used my whole hand and patted his back, "loser," I said in my normal voice

I scoffed and took a deep breath, I lifted my head right to his ear "Killian!" I yelled into it, he quickly looked at me sorry in his eyes, I felt sort of bad now

"Are you mad" he rolled his eyes seeing I was ok then went back to his original position, I groaned

"I need to pee, as one does in the morning" I slapped his back repeatedly "Killian" I sang

"Take longer than two minutes I'm busting the door down," he said yawning and turning over

I quickly leaped out of his bed and ran to his bathroom, I quickly peed and walked to wash my hands, the water ran while I scrubbed my fingers and looked in the mirror

Jesus

My hair was a mess and my eyes were piercing red, my lips were dry making me instinctively lick them, I scrunched my face in disgust, how could he still be cuddling me while I looked like this

I took some water splashing my face, I grabbed the free elastic on my wrist tying my hair into a low ponytail and kneeling down under his sink opening the cabinet "does he have any toothbrushes" I whispered to myself

"Yes," I found a pack of unopened toothbrushes and ripped it open quickly, ok toothpaste toothpaste where are you?

I grabbed the tube and brushed my teeth while hearing a knock on the door "Essence" he groaned banging on it

"Hmm" I muffled spitting out the toothpaste

"You're taking too long!" He yelled, did he need to use it, oh my god of course Essence it's not even your bathroom

"One sec" I yelled back, I looked at myself quickly then nodded my hair, at least I made myself look a bit better, I opened the door a small smile playing on my lips

He looked at me confused "you didn't have to get ready" he said "you looked perfect either way"

"Oh um- well I was already in the bathroom," I said back, he nodded his head slowly then came around me engulfing me into a hug, a hug?

He walked backwards while still holding me "you ok? I thought you wanted to use the bathroom?" I asked him

"No you were just taking forever" he shrugged in the hug and fell onto the bed with me, he lifted himself from me looking at me "you ok?" He asked me looking in my eyes

I knew he would know if I lied, that annoyed me the most about him, he always knew "I will be" I smiled, he didn't say anything but kept our stare going "you know you're sort of clingy for a mafia leader" I raised my eyebrows

He rolled his eyes then laughed "yeah tell anyone and you're done for" he warned me

"I think some of your people already know" I chuckled

"It's your fault," he said rolling over and laying beside me

"How is it my fault what the f-" he raised a brow, I cut myself off before I swore and pressed my lips together "fudge"

"Fudge" he chucked to himself "let's get ready" he sat up leaned over and pecked my lips, for longer than a second, he pulled away and got up walking towards the bathroom, I pressed my fingers to my burning lips

"So what's on the agenda today then?" I asked leaning back

"I have some business to do, but you can go with my sister out, she's buying a bunch of stuff for this trip," he said from the bathroom

"Oh, alright" I replied

"I'll see you at around dinner tho," he came out running his hands through his hair "and if you're going out, behave" he pointed a finger at me

"I will dad" I rolled my eyes at him

He smirked and was about to say something "yeah don't I already caught myself ok that" I shook my head getting up

"Where are you going?" He asked me

"To my room" I shrugged walking out

My room,..fuck