The Flame Trilogy (Books I, II & III)

2.09

Arashi

He's here. Or I'm there, I'm not entirely sure which. Either way I don't fucking care, all that matters is that we're finally together.

I know that my head had started aching again after our briefing with Aleksandr. I brushed it off as the upcoming blood moon, but went to lay down anyway. Training was over for the day, and there was nothing really else for me to do; I doubted brawling and drinking moonshine would help at all. Zakhar the ever vigilant, noticed my lack of interest and decided to come with me back to his room, that way if anyone asked we could just imply that we left to fuck.

As I laid down, Zakhar attended to his own business on the other side of the room. Meanwhile I began thinking of Dimitri; he was aching and I could feel it. There was something about the pain that felt almost as though I was in his body, it was so real, so tiring. It wasn't too long after that I had fallen asleep, or maybe I had woken up.

Either way, now he is here.

The way he kisses me sets my soul on fire- well, if I have one that is. It takes everything within me to just focus on business. We speak about everything we could think of; I tell him about Aleksandr's plans to attack and he tells me about the Alpha council.

But once all of that's done... all bets are off.

My mouth takes over his and I let myself go for the briefest of moments. Perhaps it's a cruel trick by fate, to let me have a taste of heaven before I have to go back to hell but I can't bring myself to care.

I pull away, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood before giving him a hard glare. "You have a lot of things to make up for."

"Fuck if don't already know, mate." He grunts with a heavy sigh, everything about the action is nothing like the Dimitri I knew. It's only been a few months, but I myself know how drastically a person can change in just a few months.

It's then I actually take the time to look at him, to really look. He looks different— older, wilder and a little worn out. This is definitely not the same proud Alpha that I met when I first stepped into his office at white claw all those months ago.

"Your hair has grown." I stroke the full beard on his chin in thought. I have no idea where this sudden softness came from, I didn't even know that I had it in me. Perhaps it's tiredness from thinking about him all the time, or the tinge of sadness I feel every time I think about how we left things. "You've not been looking after yourself."

"Can you blame me?" He growls harshly against my lips, his admission surprisingly saddens me. I want to hide it, to be nonchalant because I have it rough too- I get it, but it's almost as if I can't.

There's something about this dreamscape that feels different. It isn't us, but it is. It's as if our essence, our very souls have come together. If that is truly the case then it means there can be no hiding emotions here, not from myself and definitely not from each other. I'm honestly not entirely sure how to feel about it.

A short quiet falls between us, and for the first time I'm not sure what to say. What the fuck am I supposed to tell him? To get over the hurt? That would only make me a hypocrite, because I ache for him too. It doesn't matter how much I want to be angry at him— being mad is different from being away from him.

"I miss you." He whispers. "I'm so fucking sorry for how things happened between us. If I had known-"

"I know. Me too." I stop him with a finger to his lips. "I'm not mad for how we left things. Well, maybe just a little bit."