The Flame Trilogy (Books I, II & III)

2.20

Dimitri

She lays quietly in my arms, her fingertips tracing random patterns on my skin. Neither of us dare to break the silence since our raw, passionate climax. I understand that this is difficult and highly unusual for her, but I can't help but still feel angry at her betrayal.

I accused her that she would be jealous if our roles were reversed, but would she really have been? Would she care if I had gone off and fucked some other she wolf whilst she was gone? Would she even bat an eyelid?

She doesn't see this bond the way that I do, the way that I have been taught to. I know I cannot fault her for her ignorance, but surely I am still allowed to be upset with its consequences.

It is in part my fault I suppose; I just assumed that she would know that mates equals exclusivity. We never really talked much about our connection as mates, not really— she was so hung up on trying to stop a war. To her this was hardly a betrayal.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs into my skin, suddenly breaking the silence. I cannot tell if it is because of this dreamland, or because of our newfound intimacy, but she hides her face in my chest, refusing to look up at me. "I said that it didn't mean anything, but I could feel what I was doing was wrong. And I feel even worse knowing that I hurt you."

Every time I think that I know this woman, she surprises me. Her admission does not stoke the bristling anger as I expect it to, but instead quiets it. The fight in me deflates; she doesn't like hurting me. Just like that, I'm ready to take my armour off for her.

"Arashi," I sigh, hugging her closer to me. My lips press a silent kiss into her hair, my tone getting just a fraction gruffer when I remind her. "Just don't ever do that again. If I have to fuck you everytime I see you here for you to remember that you're mine then I will."

She turns her head up to look at me, amethyst eyes scrutinising my face with furrowed brows as she tries to decipher my words. She wants to know what I mean about her being 'mine.'

I know Arashi is not one to be owned; perhaps when we first met, it was what I tried to do. But that is not the way that I want her, not anymore. Being her mate has shown me that pates are not something to possess, not in the way that my father had me believe.

No, she is not something I seek to possess. She is mine for the mere fact that I have given her my entirety; she is mine because I hope that she finds her true rest with me as I do with her. She is not what completes me, she is what sustains me; and that is so much greater.

Her eyes soften, "Yours."

"Yes, all mine." I press a kiss to her lips, although I only feel a shimmering fraction of her warmth, the illusion is enough to lull my mind. She rests her head back onto my chest, my fingertips tracing a lazy pattern up and down her arm. "I can't wait to have you back in my arms."

"I didn't think you thought it possible."

My fingers pause. Have I really been that easy for her to read? In some ways it's true, I spend plenty of time worried, frightened, that this war will be the end of us. That it will be the end of my pack, that it will be the end of my people. I have never been so afraid in my entire life, and that frightens me too.

I am an Alpha, I'm not supposed to feel fear.

Yet, in equal measure, I wonder. I wonder about Arashi, what our future would look like together, about all the things I'd say to her when I finally get her back. I wonder about what her favourite foods are, if she had hobbies as a child, and the kind of woman she might become if she chose to stay by my side.

I wonder about what the pack might look like with her as it's Luna. Hell, she's hundreds of miles away and is still changing things without even knowing it. I can't stop myself from wondering.