The Flame Trilogy (Books I, II & III)

1.18

The bastard keeps me on that fucking collar for almost two weeks, if it isn't for how well we've begun to get along I might've considered strangling him.

Dimitri and I have bonded greatly after I marked him. I can now feel some of his strongest emotions, so I know that he genuinely cares and trusts me. I'm no longer afraid of the notion that he's my soulmate. I guess it makes it easier that whenever we're behind closed doors, which is a lot, Dimitri is always different to his 'Alpha' persona.

He helps me to re-learn how to read and write, he teaches me how to use our bond to call him or talk to him and has even asked for my opinion on our situation. We have no idea how long it would be until Shadow Fang came to claim me, and whilst I still haven't shared any of the information beyond Aleksandr wanting to insight war, Dimitri has already started to put things into place.

His efforts are admiral. He has started to collect as much data as possible to present to the other Alpha's when the time comes, though considering my non compliance, it's a sparse folder. He has also started a new, harder, training routine for his pack to follow, and has even had more drills about what to do in a situation of war. I still try to tell him that he needs every wolf on the front line- but he hasn't relented yet. That's another thing that I've learnt to dislike. Frustratingly he always gets the last word.

He is still the stoic unfeeling Alpha in front of the rest of the pack- something that would probably never change- so I have to remember to speak to him through our bond instead of out loud.

We learn about one another, hell, I learn about myself. Stupid trivial things like favorite colour, and food and all other stupid things that don't really matter but things we want to know none the less. Since I have a lot less experience with things like that, he makes sure that I get to try, and do, all his favourite things so that I can at least enjoy the things he does.

After spending so much time with him, I know one thing is for sure; he has become my favourite thing. For the short month that I've spent at his pack, he has slowly been growing on me.

I finally realise that I don't need his permission to speak, and I take full advantage of it. Sometimes admittedly I push my luck, but never in front of the pack lest I get collared again. I realise that he doesn't mind so much as long as it isn't in front of the pack; I find it strange but nonetheless comply. I have a feeling that Dimitri has gotten used to my crass, indecorous actions. Now looking back on things there have been plenty of times that I'd pushed his buttons, but the only time it ever had a consequence is when I did it in front of his men.

From observing all the prissy, demure other bitches in his pack I'd say I'm a breath of fresh air. They're all treated like delicate flowers, never lifting a finger except to do ludicrous and unnecessary things like going to brunch. Dimitri often tries to treat me as such, but every time I fight back; you win some, you lose some. I could go insane, being with a mate who's so nice. It's too different to what I've always known, like being a mere thing letting time pass you by; it's so depressing.

I can't deny that part of me misses that in Shadow Fang I can do things. I'm a warrior to be feared, dominating any trial thrown my way. Sure, some of the others look down on me because I'm short but never because of my gender. Besides time after time, I proved my fearless ferocity.

We argue on the issue several times, but he is extremely reluctant to allow the bitches the ability to do much else since it'll be breaking nearly 500 years of pack history. I'd backfire that the whole idea was giving them a choice; I know for a fact that so many bitches have skills that could strengthen and forward the pack but they're being wasted because they simply aren't given the opportunity.

The last time we had this argument he seemed almost worn down, he had been thoughtful of my responses but still hasn't implemented any of the things we had talked about.