"Alright there you go Barnes." You said placing his hand on the bed.
"Thanks Y/N."
"Oh and also," you took out a plaster. "Here," you stuck the plaster on his nose bridge where he had a small cut. He scrunched his nose and then smiled. His smile was so pure. You couldn't help but stare in awe. "What?" He said tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Nothing." You replied.
You threw away the bottle of peroxide and the rest of the rubbish from the packaging. You walked over to the light switch and turned off the lights, while the tv still played. You loved falling asleep with the tv on, it just gave you this feeling of comfort. Bucky,assuming you were gonna go to bed, went to lay down on the couch.
You flipped the covers and got under them. "Barnes." You said with a little laugh in your voice.
"Yeah?" He answered from the couch without turning to you.
"Your dumbass didn't seriously think I'd make you sleep on the couch did you?" You said.
"Don't you want your privacy?" He asked. He looked so innocent, like a puppy dog.
You patted the spot next to you "Come let's watch a movie or something."
He got up and walked over to the bed.
"Are you sure?" He asked before getting in.
"Jesus Barnes just get under the covers already."
You paused. Awkward. You definitely didn't mean to phrase it that way. You heard him chuckle. "You know what I mean," you rolled your eyes smiling. He sat down, with his metal arm next to you, staring at the tv screen.
As you watched some random movie you still couldn't help but think about Bucky's arm. Did he actually claw at it to try get it off? Most of the marks there looked pretty old, but that didn't stop you from thinking about it.
You decided to build up the courage and ask.
"Hey Barnes," you said as softly as you could.
He looked down at you "Yes?" He said.
"The scar tissues around your arm. What happened?"
"Well, you know I've got wires and coils jammed up into my skin there's no way that my skin would've stayed smooth." He answered, looking back up at the tv screen.
"So you didn't scrape at the metal arm?" You asked.
He looked down at you again. You couldn't read his face, it was completely emotionless. "Why does my arm matter so much to you, Y/N?"
"I just want to know," you said looking at his arm and then back at him.
"Well..." he tried to begin his explanation.
"Well?" You asked him.(pushing him was definitely a bad idea)
"Yes! Yes ok I did try and tear it off. I would try every single day! I'd just sit there in my cell and scrape at it for hours until streams of blood ran down my side." His breathing intensified and he began to get angry. "You would've also tried to rip off a piece of metal that was stuck to your body completely against your will!" He was starting to shout.
He was pretty scary when he got mad. You weren't afraid but you tried to be cautious. You realized you got him really mad at this point.
He was still going on about his arm when he lifted it. You visibly flinched. It was just an instinct. I mean cmon if someone had a metal arm and they lifted it over your head your instinct would probably be to put you hands on your head immediately too.
Bucky noticed you flinching. He froze with his hand in mid air. He looked at you. "Oh my god I'm so sorry." He said putting his hand down. "I didn't mean to get s-so mad."
You just sat there. You didn't know what to do or say. Again, you knew he was emotionally vulnerable, but what the hell do you do in a situation like this? Especially if the person had ptsd. 'Shit I Y/N, you should've known better' you said to yourself.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered looking at you with heavy eyes. He turned his head away and began to breath heavily.
OH MY GOD WHAT IF HE STARTED CRYING?
You mentally began to panic. You started looking at this from a psychologist's angle. Emotional and physical support? Yeah probably.
Last step to make this as "unawkward" as possible.
"Hey it's ok," you said placing your hand on his metal shoulder. Like that helps. You reached your hand to his face turning it back. He wasn't crying but you saw his eyes sparkle in the faint light of the tv screen. You put your hand around him pulling him closer to you making him lay his head in your chest.
Wow talk about deja vu.
You ran your hands through his damp hair tenderly stroking his head. "It's alright Bucky." You whispered. "Everything will be alright don't worry."
