"I thought we were way passed this. The not telling the secrets."
He sighed giving up the act. "Y/N I can't tell you."
"Why not!" You shouted.
"It's for your own good. It's better if you don't know." He said.
"W-what is it about? Is it something about Bucky?" You asked.
"No." Steve sighed. Your eyebrows knitted.
"Why can't I know?"
"Y/N please," Sam said softly from behind you.
"It is about Bucky isn't it? That's why you're not telling me, I mean why else would you not tell me?" You spat.
"Y/N," Sam repeated. Steve looked at you with mixed expressions on his face. He glanced at Sam, who had a worried look on his face.
You turned around "Sam. What aren't you telling me?"
Sam looked at Steve with scared eyes. You turned back around.
"What? W-what is it? Did Bucky leave something? Did he say something? Did you find something? Is he alive?"
"BUCKY'S DEAD!" Steve shouted.
"Steve!" Sam stepped forward. You swallowed.
"Bucky's dead. Gone," Steve repeated.
Your breathing picked up pace. "Dead," you whispered. "Dead." You repeated. You fell onto your knees.
"Y/N!" Sam and Steve flinched towards you.
Tears began running down your cheeks.
"I-I'm sorry," Steve said.
Sam hugged you from behind holding your hands. He gave Steve a glare. "Dude what is wrong with you?" He whispered.
"Dead." You whimpered "Gone."
"It's ok it's ok, don't worry," Sam whispered trying to calm you down. He rubbed circles on the back of your hand.
Steve got up leaving. You heard the house door click and then close.
Sam held you tightly whispering. "It's ok, it's ok I'm here, you're ok. You're ok."
You bent down forward crying. Sam screwed his eyes hearing the pain in your voice.
You turned around hugging him tightly.
"It's ok, I got you kid. I got you."
You held onto him like a child, sobbing.
"He's dead. Sam he's dead," you cried "I loved him. I loved him so much."
"I know, I know you did," he nodded looking up breathing.
"I love you too, please don't leave me." You weeped.
"I'm not going anywhere kid. I'm here, I'll always be here no matter what," his tone changed. You clutched his shirt biting your lip to suppress the wails.
Sam blinked away tears, he hated seeing you like this, he absolutely hated it. But despite all that he couldn't tell you anything, Steve told him not to and he promised. All he could do was comfort you, he knew not telling you would be the best thing at the moment. Or at least until after the mission.
You stayed on the floor for about twenty minutes until Sam said you should lay down on your bed. He helped you up. He waited outside while you changed into your home clothes.
He held your hair back while you washed off all the Halloween make up.
He laid down next to you, just like you asked. He felt terrible.
You would occasionally sniff, which gave Sam the impression that you were still crying. He'd hold your hand, squeezing and repeating the words "sorry" and "it's ok" over and over.
You felt so numb, inside and out, at this point you were just crying, because of everything.
Because of Steve not telling you anything, because of Sam too, because your boyfriend kissed another girl, because Bucky was dead and because you will never see him again. Ever.
You just had to face it. The love of your life was dead, and you couldn't bring him back or do anything except cry like a weak little puppy and feel helpless and hopeless. You bit your lip, feeling more hot tears fall down the side of your face. Sam squeezed your hand "I love ya kid, it'll all be fine."
