It's been a week since the mission and you still haven't seen Bucky. Honestly you were too scared and nervous and every time Steve suggested you go see him you'd make up an excuse.
Sam got his sling off, he just has the cast now. He says he's a lot better, but you've seen him walking, he looks like he's in pain, but he's just really good at hiding it. You actually spent a lot of time with him, you'd always bring in your lap top at around noon and the two of you would watch movies and shows. You'd also always bring him hot chocolate or coffee in the morning before he managed to get up.
It was around 8pm and Steve just came back from Tony. You were having some late dinner and Sam was already asleep. He came into the kitchen "Hey Y/N."
"Hey, the chicken's out and there are vegetables in the fridge." You took a bite.
"Actually I'm not having dinner," he said.
"Oh. Why not?"
"I'm actually here for you." He put his hands in his pockets.
"W-why are you here for me?" You asked.
"Uh, Bucky?"
You quickly took another bite of your vegetables. "It's a bit late isn't it? Besides what about Sam?"
"He's asleep? And I know it isn't late, you go to bed much later." He lifted his eyebrows.
"I don't want to leave Sam." You protested.
"Y/N." He said sternly.
You sighed "Steve I do wanna see him I really do but I just can't."
"Why not? Y/N please."
"I feel like it's better if I don't see him." You looked down at your plate.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because if I do I won't be able to leave him!" You lashed out.
"You can stay at Tony's for one night." Steve said.
"I'm not leaving Sam." You repeated.
"Y/N I'll be with Sam, he'll be fine."
"What just how you were with him last time?"
Steve was surprised by your words.
"I know what happened." You mumbled. "It was Bucky."
Steve looked down, with guilt in his eyes.
"You're risking everything and everyone for Bucky. The same thing happened to me, I almost died fighting Bucky while you were god knows where. You need to learn from your mistakes Steve." You said. "And I know he's your best friend and he was always there for you, but then what's the point having others around if you're going to care about only one person? I'm sorry I'm not like you Steve, I can't forgot about the people who are around me."
That really hurt Steve, but you had to tell him, if you didn't who else would've told him?
"Y/N," he began "I know I'm not the best person and I understand, but he really needs you right now."
You groaned rubbing your face. "Steve."
"Do I just tell him that you didn't want to come?"
"No! No, don't say that. I'll go, just give me some time to get ready. But I'm only for a bit." You finally gave in. Steve was sort of right. Even though you felt terrible for being a complete hypocrite, you wanted to see Bucky. Half of you still didn't process the fact that he wasn't dead.
-
Steve was driving and you were in the front seat next to him. You were nervously chewing on your nails, thinking about everything that could go wrong.
"It'll be alright Y/N." Steve said comforting you.
You looked at him with the 'really?' face.
"Wha-I'm trying to help," he said in defense.
"Just. I don't know. Are you sure he wants to see me Steve?" You whined.
"Oh I am certain, Y/N." Steve nodded.
"I'm not," you mumbled.
You arrived at the Stark tower and made your way onto Tony's floor, where he himself greeted you. "Y/N," he gave you hug.
"Hey Tony," you said not-so-excitedly.
He coughed seeing you were a bit distant towards him. Well to be fair you had a pretty good reason to be.
"Well then, follow me." He lead you into his lab.
The more you walked the more your heart pounded. Your throat went dry and your eyes kept jumping from one place to another.
"He's in the last room to the left," Tony said showing a corridor. "I think Rogers and I will wait here." He glanced at Steve who gave him a small nod. You sighed "Alright."
You slowly walked down the corridor looking down. You turned around looking if Tony and Steve were there. Nope they weren't.
You fastened your walking and made it to the end of the corridor. You took a deep breathe and knocked on the door.
"Come in!" You heard Bucky's voice. Oh how you melted. Your were so dumbfounded your hand couldn't turn the door knob.
"Hello?" Bucky called. You swallowed trying to speak "Bucky-" you said noiselessly.
You heard the door open "Stark just come in-"
Something fell onto the floor, you looked down and saw a book, he must've been reading.
You bent down picking it up.
"Dropped this," you handed it to him. He took it with a funny expression on his face.
"Y/N?" He breathed. You smiled nervously.
"Hope so."
He pulled you into a bone crushing hug, you yelped hugging him back.
You patted his back. "I missed you. A lot." You whispered.
You felt him nod. You heard his shaky breathe and his hard swallowing, he was crying. You put your hand on the back of his head bringing him closer. Suddenly, you saw something with the corner of your eye. You glanced to the end of the corridor. You saw Steve and Sam peeking, just like in a cartoon, one head on top of the other. You furrowed your eyebrows giving them a glare, they saw you and quickly disappeared.
"What?" He asked pulling away.
"Could we uh maybe go in?" You grinned, looking down the corridor. He followed your gaze,clueless.
"Uh yeah," he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.
Yeah that's right, Bucky was in a knitted sweater. He looked adorable.
"I like your sweater by the way." You said a little awkwardly. He sniffed in response. You stood next to the door as still as a statue, scanning his little room. It was nice, very Tony style. Bed in the corner of the room, nice beige wallpaper. Couch that matches the bed and a little night stand next to it. You noticed a stack of books on it. You grinned, he never stopped reading did he?
"You can sit down. I mean please sit down, I mean sit. Ugh just sit." He said frustrated.
You smiled rolling your eyes, you came up to him hugging him.
"Sorry." He said. You let go of him with your hands still round his neck.
"You know I thought you were dead." You said.
"I know, I was told." He looked down.
"I missed you too," he whispered.
You hummed in response "But I missed you more."
He looked at you "You got a boyfriend while I was dead."
"You were gone for two year! Say thanks that I didn't get married." You scoffed.
He laughed lightly. You sat down on his couch and he dropped down next to you.
"I missed you more because it's been two years for me, and you only got your mind back a week ago."
"I still remembered you. Well not you but some memories of us together. It's hard to explain but I still felt like I was missing something."
You sighed. Sam. You felt terrible but you also felt so happy to finally have Bucky back. It was so complicated.
"You ok?" He saw you worried.
"I uh, yeah I'm fine. I just don't think I can stay for long, I've got someone to get back to." You said.
"Your boyfriend?"
"What? No, we broke up like weeks ago!"
"Oh ok sorry." Scratched the back of his head.
"It's Sam." You said.
"What's up with Wilson?" He asked.
You turned your head to him in surprise. He didn't know. Steve didn't tell him.
"Y/N?" Bucky repeated, snapping you out of your thoughts. "What's wrong with him?"
"He just isn't feeling well," you lied.
"Oh, I hope he gets better." Bucky said purely.
"Yeah," you whispered.
You looked each other in the eyes. His poor innocent blue hues glistened. He didn't have a single clue. You felt so bad.
"Oh Bucky," you held his hand, tearing your eyes away from his.
"What?" He said. You just squeezed his hand in response.
