Lose Myself

Chapter Thirty One

Thank you all so much for your support I love you❤️

And, also...

THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS THEY MADE ME LAUGH AND SMILE AND ALDJDJSJS I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

I see that you guys have enjoyed the Manna moments, so this chapter will be absolutely filled with them <3

SORRY IN ADVANCE OF MY MANY SPELLING ERRORS, I WAS RUSHING AND I PROMISED YOU GUYS A LONG CHAPTER. I CANT PROMISE ANYTHING BUT I WILL MOST LIKELY BE UPDATING TOMORROW <3
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Listen to Your Kisses by Daughter

31

I was kissing Matthew.

I was kissing Matthew.

I was kissing Matthew.

Oh my god.

We've never kissed before! The only person that's kissed me before was Kian, unless you count Taylor. But, when Taylor kissed me, it wasn't on the lips (thank god).

The thing is, I didn't stop, and I didn't pull away, and neither did he. As I laid on top of him, tangled in sheets, I realized that he meant something to me. I realized that I felt something towards him.

I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it was a good, scary feeling. I've never felt this before. Actually, I have. Once.

When I got into the car with Kian when he took me to the dance, I had the same feeling in my stomach. A good, scary feeling. I remember thinking 'No going back now. Just do it. Just fall.' And I did fall, I fell in love with him, with Kian. I took a risk. I let myself fall, but he didn't catch me, he let me fall hard and I had a rough landing.

So now, I'm afraid to fall. But I was tempted to.

With Matthew.

His hands found my waist, and he put his hands under my shirt, so his warm hands were holding my cold, bare waist. My hands were playing with his hair, and I honestly have no idea what has gotten into me. I actually liked Matthew. For the longest time, I never saw Matthew as anything more than a friend. I even hated him when I first met him, because he had become best friends with my bullies. Then, he helped me run away from my parents, and now, we're kissing.

Now, I was sure of my feelings for this boy. I liked him. A lot. Love? I wasn't so sure. It was too early to tell. The heavy rain pattered against the window outside. All of the lights were off, with the window giving us the only source of light.

All I knew right then and there, was that I never wanted to stop kissing him.

Matthew POV (surprise!)

My hands found their way under her shirt and to her cold waist. Her hands touched my hair, tugging slightly, and I couldn't think of anything that I would want more than this.

I've been waiting so long to kiss her. I've waited so long to feel what her lips felt like against mine, what feeling her skin sent through my body, what all of this would feel like. It was so much better than what I thought.

When I first switched school's, I was not happy. I mean, I was going from a private school to a public one, and I was afraid that no one would like me.

On my first day at the school, I was so nervous. What if they thought I was weird? What I they thought I was too tall, or too small, or not good enough?

When I seated next Anna, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Literally. Most people would say "she was so breathtakingly beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off of her", which isn't the case. Well, she was breathtakingly beautiful, don't get me wrong, but that wasn't the reason I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was because of how broken she looked.