3
*2 weeks later*
"Honey, please come down!" I heard my mom call. I walked down the stairs, reluctantly.
I was prepared for either a) a long speech about who knows what, or
b) she wants to spend time with me.I was hoping for the first one more than the second...
"I just wanted to let you know that we're having company tomorrow! A friend of mine just started working at the same office as me, she just started about a week ago. She said that her son also changed schools, and is in your grade...?"
I shrugged my shoulders. I had no friends, and she knew that. I also didn't want her thinking I had anything to do with Matthew.
"The both of them are coming to dinner," she continued, "maybe you could make a friend! They're coming over tomorrow night for dinner, I just wanted to let you know." She finished. I nodded.
Then she sighed. This is what I didn't want, for the usual 'I love you so much and I want you to talk again' thing.
"Listen, honey... I just wish you'd talk to me, or anybody---it would make me and Jake so happy, do you know that?"
Follow the routine.
Nod.
"Okay," she smiled sadly, bringing her hand to my cheek. "Well I had an idea..." she trailed off. I gave her a questioning look.
"Why don't we..." she rubbed her hands together, smiling wide.
Oh, this can't be good.
"Go shopping!" She exclaimed.
No. I don't like shopping. I don't like it when people stare at me.
"We can get you a nice outfit for tomorrow...?" She opened her arms and shrugged.
No. I don't like shopping.
She hugged me. "HONEY! I'M SO EXCITED! GO GET READY AND LET ME GRAB MY PURSE!"
What?
I didn't even say yes!
Great.
I have nothing to get ready for, anyway. I can't possibly look more terrible than I already do.
I'm dressed in leggings and a big baggy grey sweatshirt.
I put on my converse and my mom comes running down the stairs.
"Let's goooo!" She sang out the door. I rolled my eyes, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.
What did I just get myself into?
-
"Oh, honey!" My mom squealed, picking up a skirt and a shirt, "this would look lovely on you!"
I shook my head, no.
I don't like me legs. That tank top will show my scars. No. The answer is no.
"Okay...then what about...this?" She held up a plain black dress, with short sleeves. It was tight up to my waist, then flowed out at the bottom. It went to about my knees.
I pointed to a black cardigan. "That would look lovely with it!" She said exclaimed
"Now go try it on!"
I was reluctant to, but I did anyway, just to get me out of this place.
I couldn't wait to get out of here, because I just absurdly hated the mall. People always have me dirty looks because of what I was wearing. Well, sorry I don't fell comfortable in showing my body.
-
We were paying at the cash register. We had bought the dress and the cardigan, and black flats. This entire outfit was very fancy for me, which is why I partially didn't like it, it didn't go with, well, me.
I don't wear this type of clothing, ever, but the least I could do is wear it for my mom.
My didn't really have any, 'girl-friends' to hang out with, so I guess this was her way of hopefully making a friend.
After paying so much attention to me and my stupid depression, she had no time to spend with her friends.
"That'll be $54.76" the man at the register said.
No. No mom. I will not let you pay that much for me.
I shook my head no very quickly.
"Oh honey it's okay," she said, "I haven't gotten to spoil you in a really long time." She left it at that, and paid the guy. We soon went home, and all I could think of, was how much of a terrible person I am, to do this to my mother.
-
When we got home, I couldn't stop thinking about the dinner tomorrow night. I just hoped that it wasn't with any of the populars, maybe someone nice, who won't acknowledge me?
I suddenly grew very nervous, and I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to know who was coming to dinner. I had a hunch, but I just needed to know.
"What do you need?" She asked,
I took a piece of paper and wrote down,
Who is the boy coming tomorrow?
She smiled, and gave me that look.
I shook my head, as if to say, not like that. I'm just curious, nothing more.
She took the pen from me, and wrote,
I believe his name is Matthew. Do you know him?
YOU ARE READING
Lose Myself
FanficShe's alone. She's unwanted. She's bullied. She's haunted. Could Matthew Espinosa really save her? Or has she lost herself?