Lose Myself

Chapter One

1

I'm long gone.

I'm unwanted.

I'm unloved.

And that's okay.

I know.

I understand.

I know they're afraid of me. I know they have a pleasure of beating me.

The scared ones? They're scared of my scars. Not all depressed people wear all black, ripped up outfits, and skulls on their backs, you know.

The bullies? They're bored. They're angry. They want to prove a point that will never be proven.

There were five bullies, five people taunting me, and have been for 3 years.

Zach, Tina, Aaron, Kian, and Gina.

Those were the names I dreaded hearing most.

Those were the people who made me do what I do, and make me feel miserable. Those were the people who put me in an endless darkness, that I could never escape from.

They were the populars.

-

Half way through class, I started drawing clouds on my paper, I was so bored. My paper was halfway covered in clouds until something distracted me from my boring artwork.

The lady I recognized whom worked in the highschool office popped her head, interrupting the lesson.

"Excuse me, Mr.Larson," she said. "The new student is here."

"Send him in!" Mr.Larson exclaimed, and a tall boy walked into the classroom shyly.

"Everyone," Mr.Larson yelled, trying to get everyone's attention. "We have a new student joining us today, and hopefully for the rest of sophomore year. Your name is...?"

The boy, looked about to be 6'0. His blonde hair was in a quiff, and he was wearing a button up shirt with khakis and sneakers.

He looked like he would fit in just fine with the populars.

"Matthew Espinosa," he answered proudly. I noticed some girls tapping their feet, some squealing, and mostly whispering. I saw that guys were also mumbling things.

It's not like we've never had a new student before...

He wasn't even good looking.

"Well, Matthew, why don't you go take a seat by...Anna."

I froze.

That was me.

I just wanted to take my long dirty blonde hair and cover my face with it, which I tried to do and partially failed. Why did he have to choose me of all the people in this room? There were absent kids today, and there were plenty of other open seats.

Some girls shot me dirty glares, but I was used to it. People are so judgmental...

And I honestly saw nothing special in having the opportunity to sit next to the new kid, anyway. I wasn't going to talk to him.

"She can help you out to understand the lesson." Mr.Larson finished. Matthew walked over to me, smiling. I sat in the back corner of the room. He looked so clean, his clothes looked new. Meanwhile, I'm wearing and old grey t-shirts, jeans and worn out black and white converse. Although it made me a bit self conscious, I just brushed it off.

"Hi," he said, sitting down next to me. "I'm Matthew. And you're Anna, right?" He asked.

No. Don't look at the eyes. Don't look at him. Don't say a word.