Lose Myself

Chapter Twenty

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Here's my Christmas present to you all :)

Sorry about this chapter by the way, it's a huge plot and a small chapter, and I wanted to update today on Christmas for you all and I only have a short amount of time! :(

Hope you enjoy! :)

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20

It's Christmas Eve.

And it's the worst Christmas Eve ever.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Matt.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"I mean, with everything...what if we get arrested for, whatever this is? What about my parents? Are we just going to keep running for the rest of our lives? This is just, all so crazy..." I said. It truly was crazy, all of this. I honestly don't understand how we got to this...

Well, that was a lie. I do know.

Nash.

"I don't know..." Matt trailed off, "I've honestly been wondering that myself...the police must be involved at this point, but if they are, I'm just really surprised that they haven't found us yet. We have been here for days now."

"I don't understand..." I said, "what's wrong with my parents? They were never like this. I always thought of them as normal." My eyes watered up,
"All I want is answers, Matthew. Why am I so broken? Why does this have to happen to me? Why?" I croaked.

He was sitting against the head board on the bed, legs out. I was sitting crossed-crossed on the end of the bed.

*Cue Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran*

"Come here," he said lazily, opening his arms. I froze. What exactly did he want me to do? I didn't need a hug at the moment, but what else was I supposed to do?

I began to scoot over to him. He laid down, and open the covers. I slid in, and he put his arm around me, pulling the covers up. He turned the light off.

He stroked my hair, and I could feel and hear his breathing. My eyes were wide open.

What exactly were we doing? I've never done something like this before, with anyone. It was a new experience for me.

As he stroked my hair, he said, "I wish I had answers, but I don't. But, I can tell you this: your parents are very uptight, and they're not used to something, well, 'not normal'. They're freaking out, and don't have one clue what you're going through, let alone what's going on.

We're here to help you. Um, well, right now, I'm here to help you."

I could just barely see him hand move up to his hair, pushing it back.

"I know you're alone, and you have no one, and that you're in this place where you can't figure out your emotions, that that the word confusing would just be an understatement.

I've been there before. Except, my place is just black. I'm trapped in a small box, and everything is black, and all I can see are the palms of my hands. Nobody's there, and nobody will ever be there. It's my own lonely place. I don't know what your place looks like, or feels like, but that's mine." He finished. It was dead silent.

I didn't know how to respond to that. It was a lot to take in, and I was still taking it in.

"Oh..." is all I said. I was so stupid! But, then again, what else could I say? He just said something that would be in my mind forever.

Here we are, cuddling on Christmas Eve, and only a couple days ago my brother hurt me, and only a couple weeks ago I met the boy I was constantly running away with, away from the police. I haven't talked in two years until a couple days ago.

I never pictured my Christmas Eve to be like this.

I've already made so many mistakes, it couldn't get any worse.

It couldn't get any worse...

You know what?

Screw it.

I linked our fingers together, and I soon fell asleep.