In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Prologue i

The song above inspired my oc so it's only right I included it :)

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A thud echoed around the house. Harriet looked to her husband in fear then turned to the bed. A tiny girl no older than five was huddled under the duvet snoring peacefully. Harriet brushed a stray strand of hair out the girl's face before standing up.

"Goodbye darling." Her husband tugged on her wrist spurring her to leave the bedroom. She shut the door with a click and followed her husband down the corridor.

The impending situation weighed down on them but they never let it show. Instead they walked calmly down the stairs coming face to face with the Winter Soldier.

"We were wondering when you would show yourself." The husband - David - remarked with no trace of fear.

"знаш зашто сам овде" His voice was thick with a Serbian accent as he had spent the past fifty year locked in a Hydra facility deep within Serbian borders. You pick things up when you are constantly being yelled at.

"We do. But you have to understand why we did what we did."

"You turned me into a monster."

"We saved you Bucky."

"Don't call me that." He cocked his gun aiming for David's temple but Harriet stepped in. She placed a gentle hand on top of the gun and lowered it without breaking eye contact.

"We're sorry for what Hydra did to you, truly we are. They brought us in for a 'maintenance job', we had no idea we were making another arm. We were only following orders Bucky, just like you. That arm is the only reason you still have the tiniest sliver of free will and you know that."

"But they still control me." Bucky's voice cracked with emotion despite his ability to remain calm in situations like these. His programming hadn't been restored in a while allowing himself to slip in and out of his Winter Soldier persona. Sadly that also meant the flood of emotions that came with his transformation hit him full force, all at once.

"We can fix that. Just put down the gun."

"No. I need- I have to complete my mission. They'll...they will kill me."

"I understand," Harriet removed her hand and stepped back. She laced her fingers with her husband casting one final look upstairs. "I only ask this. Once we are gone, look after our daughter. I know that there is good still in you, in fact I made sure I could preserve it. I trust you, we both do. Prove what we already know, that Bucky Barnes is still in there."

Bucky's hand was trembling. He couldn't deny that these people saved him from a much worse fate. Years ago they had been hired by Hydra to create a second more powerful arm infused with a drug that would allow his superiors to control Bucky without need of the command words.

Instead the couple had laced the drug used for the mind control with a sedative designed to combat the Winter Soldier programming. In doing so they gave Bucky a slither of freedom, allowing him to retain parts of his memory even after the mind-wipe.

These people had saved him from being completely controlled. Yet Hydra had branded them criminals and despite his newfound conscience, he couldn't disobey his superiors.

"Promise me Bucky. You will keep her safe." David gripped his wife's hand as she began to break down into tears.

"I promise."

Two shots was all it took.

The gun slipped out of his hands landing in between the bodies of the people he owed his life. He removed his mask, hooking it to his belt. He brought a trembling hand to his mouth, scrunching his eyes shut to try and rid himself of the image. They didn't deserve to die. They had done nothing wrong.

"I'm sorry. I owe you a debt, I will keep your daughter safe."

Without looking back Bucky ascended the stairs and headed for the furthest bedroom. He fought back the voice that told him to run, the part of him that was still utterly loyal to Hydra. As gently as he could he opened the door preparing himself for the screams of a child who craved their parent's attention.

What he was met with was a trembling child sat bolt upright in her bed with a blanket draped over her shoulders. She stared curiously at Bucky, absent-mindedly scratching at her wrist.

"Mama and Papa are gone." Her statement shocked Bucky tremendously but he nodded all the same.

"I promised your parents I will keep you safe."

"You're Bucky."

"I-yes I am. How do you know?"

The girl pointed to the wall next to Bucky's head. He turned slightly to see a crayon drawing in all black, except for a single silver arm with a red star. His heart broke slightly and it took all his strength not to burst into tears right there and then.

"Mama used to tell me stories."

"About me?" The girl nodded, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

"You are going to come with me now, doll."

That seemed to make the child giggle this time prompting Bucky to cock his head curiously. "I'm not a doll. I'm Isobel, but Papa used to call me Belle. Like the princess."

Bucky smiled sadly only now noticing the excessive use of the disney princess woven into the bedroom decor.

"Okay Belle, I am going to take you back to my home." Isobel went to walk out the door but Bucky stopped her. "A princess like you shouldn't have to walk, here."

Bucky bent down and scooped her up, blanket and all. She rested her head under his chin, soft mewls escaping her as she settled down. For a moment Bucky stared down at the child that seemed so comfortable in his arms. She didn't know what he was capable of, she only knew what her mother had told her.

The thought troubled him deeply. What if she did something that triggered his programming? What if he ended up hurting her after a mission, or forgot who she was after the mind-wipe? A multitude of things could go wrong if he took the child in. Not to mention what Hydra may do to her - they would only see a possible test subject for their twisted schemes.

'What am I doing. I should leave you here, you'll be safer with a foster family.' Bucky thought to himself as he positioned the blanket so it covered her body.

Everything about her reminded him of his little sister Rebecca. Her shoulder length brown hair that curled at the tips and deep brown doe eyes were almost a mirror image of his sister. Hell even the way she talked reminded him of the conversations he once had with his sister over a lifetime ago.

There had been a time that he was responsible for his siblings, being the oldest of five meant any and all responsibility fell upon you. When his father died he became man of the house, then his mother followed shortly after leaving him to care for his sisters alone. Well, alone with Steve.

The thought of doing that again was strangely comforting. Maybe Harriet was right, this is what he needs to do to prove to himself that he is still Bucky Barnes. Mind made up Bucky headed back down the stairs, taking extra care to shield Belle's eyes when they passed her parents. She didn't need to have that image burnt into her brain.

They headed out into the night and climbed into Bucky's car. He was glad he had decided against bringing his motorcycle or he would have no way of bringing Belle back with him. Obviously he was not prepared for a child to be travelling with him, so had no car seat. As difficult as it would be he opted to hold out his metal arm securing Belle in place. About five minutes into the journey the child was asleep against his arm, hugging it like you would a teddy. Bucky cracked a small smile then trained his eyes back on the road.

As he neared the Hydra base he began to rehearse plausible excuses for why he had brought back a child that wouldn't end in both of them being killed. Eventually he landed on the theory that they wouldn't be able to argue with him as his programming prevented him from killing assets. If they believe she is a valuable asset then they wouldn't have a problem keeping her...or so Bucky hoped.