In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Chapter 9

I have been pacing outside this door for the past three hours. It's long past midnight and all the avengers are back at the tower. But I just couldn't return without talking to him.

Now I just need the courage to actually do that.

"Sir we can't have you back here much longer." A timid guard said from down the corridor.

"Just a couple of minutes." The guard faltered before leaving me alone once more.

"Get it together Rogers. Whether he remembers you are not, that's still your best friend. Just go in."

For once I listen to that annoying voice in the back of my mind. I unlock the cell door and walk in. I don't expect there to be a large glass screen separating me from the main cell. God they are treating him like some wild animal. They have even put him in a cage. How is this humane?

"I don't want to talk. Please leave." Bucky whispers without lifting his head.

"Buck, it's Steve. I know you don't remember me but-"

"You're Captain America." Bucky's head snapped up to stare at me and I can only stare back.

"Um yes I am." Is this him remembering? Or does he only know this through Hydra.

"We were friends. Before the war, before Hydra. Before everything. I was your friend."

"You were." I was fighting back tears and no doubt he could tell. If anything it looked like he was holding back tears of his own.

"I remember the expo."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You were more interested in the sign up booth than you were the flying car." Bucky laughed lightly but it was forced. I've seen this before, trying to come across strong as to not worry me. I saw it the day his mother passed away, I saw it again the day I saved him from Hydra. Well I thought I saved him from Hydra.

"What can I say. I can't stay away from a fight."

"Oh I know." He shifts in his seat which cannot be comfortable at all. It's only now I realise he has been tied to the chair. I guess I stared a little too long as Bucky glanced down at his metal arm and grimaced.

"Courtesy of Hydra. I shouldn't complain really, it's better than nothing."

"What did they do to you Bucky?" Too much of my sorrow spilled into my voice. Bucky sucked in his breath and looked away. He stayed silent for a while and I realised I wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon.

"Who's the girl?"

It was almost comical how quickly his body language changed. I didn't even have to mention a name for him to light up.

"Belle; the only reason I am still sane, and that's no exaggeration."

"Is she your daughter?"

"What? No, no no no. I think my superiors would have killed me if she was actually mine. No, I kinda adopted her, I owed her parents a debt."

That makes sense I guess. Peter had come home spouting all kinds of stories about Bucky and Belle so you could see my confusion.

"I'd say she is lucky to have you."

"Thanks Steve." Bucky's cheeks were tinted pink and he ducked to avoid my gaze. Suddenly his smile dropped and his shoulder slouched. The pivot in mood set me on edge, not that I really needed to be worried.

"Is she okay? Can I- can I see her?"

"She's doing fine. We sent Stark's kid in to talk to her and she could barely stop going on about you."

"Really? She normally doesn't like talking to strangers." There was a hint of pride in his voice and I swear I could hear his heart rate pick up.

"Peter's good at getting people to talk." Realising I hadn't answered all his questions I took a step closer and rested my hand on the glass.

"We are going to try to arrange a visit. But shield doesn't want to risk an...they don't want to let you out. I tried everything I could but they just wouldn't listen. I'm sorry."

I could only watch as Bucky's face crumpled, a single tear sliding down his face. I wish I could get closer but there was no way through this damned glass in my way.

"When can I see her?"

"Tomorrow morning. Stark is pulling every string he can."

Bucky nodded tearfully keeping his eyes trained to his feet. I was about to say more when there was a knock on the door followed by someone demanding I leave. With a sigh I step back from the glass and head for the door.

"Don't do anything stupid Buck."

"How can I? Your taking all the stupid with you."