In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Chapter 13

I don't know what I was expecting from his apartment. It looked so normal. You wouldn't think a hundred year old super soldier who was on the run from just about every organisation out here would live somewhere so... normal.

There are no other words to describe it. The couch looks practically new, placed in front of a flat screen TV. A throw blanket has been thrown over the back of it, the bright yellow fluff clinging to the fabric of the couch.

The cupboards in the kitchen were fully stock, some groceries left out on the side. The only thing that stood out about the apartment was a single photo set on the counter separating the two rooms.

It was old and crumpled but the elegant frame made up for it. Belle was on Bucky's back laughing without a care in the world. A small smile tugged at Bucky's lips, one arm held out holding the camera. Without hesitation I pick up the tiny frame and slide it into my back pocket.

"I won't be long Wade. See if you can find anything useful in here, I'll look in the bedrooms." Wade nodded and headed straight for the kitchen. I guess it would be helpful to have actual food in the house. I know all to well that Wade can live of Mexican food and pizza.

Belle's bedroom was locked with a key nowhere in sight. Well I hope she doesn't want anything too desperately, I don't particularly want to break the door especially if it was already locked. That's a whole new level of invading someone's privacy.

I turned to Bucky's room at the end of the hall. The door was wide open practically begging me to enter. Accepting the bait I began to look around for anything Bucky may want/need.

"Hey cap do you think he will mind if I take this food?" Wade calls from the other room.

"I don't think so." I respond, truthfully not really listening. I am too busy staring at a tiny notebook almost identical to my own. Every soldier was given one among other army regulated goods. Mine was full of random drawings, notes and goodness knows what else. But I don't recall Bucky ever picking it up never mind using it.

Curiosity getting the better of me I sat on the bed and opened up the book to a random page halfway through. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to read.

"Tomorrow they are wiping my memory. I should be used to it by now, it's not like this is a new thing for me. But ever since Belle came into my life I have found myself not wanting to forget. I am worried I am going to wake up one day with no recollection of her. What will happen then? Hydra certainly won't look after her. She'll be sent out into the world: alone and confused.

She had the genius idea of writing everything down. I don't know why it never came to mind before. Then again I have never actively wanted to remember anything before so why would it?

So here it goes.

Write it down before you forget. What do you want to remember?

Belle obviously. Even if I was given a year to write this, it still wouldn't be enough time to put into words how much that girl has changed my life. She has thousands of adorable habits: for example whenever she is happy she flaps her hands or jumps on the spot.

At lunch once, a fight broke out in the canteen over someone getting twice as much food. So what did Belle do? She gave up her meal to feed this soldier whom she had never met and was likely to never see again. She was eleven. Eleven! When I was her age I was...well I don't know but I certainly wasn't breaking up fights like that!"

"Are you sure about that Buck." I whisper chuckling to myself. I skip a couple of pages realising they are all focused on Belle. He wasn't kidding, he could go on for days about that girl.