In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Prologue ii

Bucky's room wasn't exactly big, so adding an extra bed made it near enough impossible to walk around. They had near to no floor space and barely any light if it weren't for the cell like window above Bucky's bed. Even so, Belle had settled in remarkably quickly.

She had set to work organising a set of wooden toys granted to her by the officers as Bucky sifted through a bag of old clothes. None of them would fit the petite girl, so Bucky set to work altering them. They were nowhere near professional standard but they would do. Belle seemed overjoyed to have new clothes, constantly remarking on how soft the fabric was. Her favorite outfit was a thrifted army uniform that she thought made her look exactly like Bucky.

They were locked away for the majority of the day, something that Bucky had grown used to. He expected Belle to be restless but she remained suspiciously quiet most the time. He would recount stories from his youth or make up fairytales which kept her content and happy. Whenever she laughed she would flap her hands and squeal, filling the base with a joy you would never associate with Hydra.

Although it hadn't all been fun and games. Bucky had found out one night that she suffered from nightmares similar to him. Well he assumed it was nightmares. What other explanation would there be for being nudged awake by a child wriggling in your bed? Bucky never questioned the child, not wanting to make her embarrassed as the next day she would almost always have migrated back to her own bed. Clearly her midnight transfers were something she didn't want Bucky knowing about.

But it still worried him. His nightmares could get so bad that the thought of having one kept him awake for days. He didn't want Belle to experience this, especially so young. So he did everything he could to make her days as enjoyable as possible.

During training he would sneak paper and pens for the girl to doodle on. At one point he even managed to secure crayons after promising the sergeant he would train non stop for a week. Belle was over the moon when he gave her those.

Months passed and Belle became attached to Bucky. It was to be expected of course, spending close to a year in one room with only Bucky for company. Only it extended beyond the normal signs of attachment. Like any child, she would cry whenever he left for training or begged him to take her with him. But she also started to reject any other company. The thought of being talked to by anyone that wasn't Bucky terrified her.

Bucky couldn't even convince her that these people wouldn't hurt her as that was a flat out lie. If she said something wrong she would be punished, that was just a fact. So Belle never spoke when an officer brought them food or allowed them to leave the cell for an hour or two.

She also developed the habit of pulling on her hair whenever presented with a stressful situation. Bucky learned through much trial and error that this couldn't only be prevented by gently easing her hands away from her scalp and stroking her hair until she would relax. He could not figure out why she was doing this, and it broke his heart when one of the episodes started.

He would spend the next ten years caring for the child, trying to figure out new ways to ease her anxiety and keep her comfortable in the facility. To no avail. If anything her stims worsened, both the good and the bad. So when an opportunity for escape presented itself, Bucky didn't think twice before taking it.