In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Chapter 10

TW: Panic attack and forceful restraint by guards. As a warning Belle will get restrained which incredibly dangerous anyway, but even more so for people with autism. This is a sensitive chapter, if you do feel uncomfortable please don't read xxx

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The morning couldn't come quick enough. I barely slept due to excitement. This is the same feeling of finishing a mission and coming home to see her again. Only this time I don't have the luxury of hugging her until we fall asleep or reading whatever book I had brought home this time.

Nevertheless I will not let that drown out my happiness. I get to see her and that's all that matters.

When the guards finally show up I am practically buzzing with anticipation. They go on and on about terms of visitation and all that crap. I tune it all out, keeping my eyes on the door waiting for her to come running through.

"Bring her in." The door swings open and Belle pushes past the guards pressing her hands against the glass. The speakers crackle then her voice fills the room.

"Are you okay? Why have they tied you up? It looks like it hurts, does it hurt?"

"I'm fine, doll. I'm not hurt at all see," I move my legs as much as the restraints will allow. The lack of pain on my face convinces Belle enough for her to calm down.

"They said they weren't going to let you out. It's not fair Bucky."

"Belle, my record isn't exactly squeaky clean. I deserve this."

"No you don't!" Belle hits the glass so hard that it rattles in its pane. The guards reach for their tasers but one glare from me sends them reeling back.

"You don't deserve this. It's not your fault, none of this is your fault."

"Belle stop." I remained as calm as possible to combat her fury but it did nothing. She continued to bang on the glass until her legs gave way and she collapsed onto the floor.

"I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this."

"Belle look at me. We will get through this, okay. You can come visit me and we will do all the things we used to do-"

"It's not the same." Tears stung my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Not in front of her.

"I know Belle but we can't do anything about that. All we can do is adapt. You can do that for me, right?"

Belle nodded her head slowly, shaking away the tears. Her hand found its way to her wrist and she started picking at her skin until dots of red glimmered in the fluorescent light.

"No no no. Not here. Not now."

"I never got to ask you how you found Central Park." I said quickly trying to distract her from the oncoming attack.

"It was nice." Emotion was slipping from her voice. She was shutting down and I couldn't do anything to help.

"I'm sorry Miss but times up."

"Please, just a little longer." They ignore my pleas and go to help Belle up. Oh god this is not going to end well.

A guard gets close enough to touch her shoulder, sending Belle reeling back. She pushes her back against the glass and curls into herself as if trying to hide from the men. They don't take the hint as two more approach her and drag her to her feet, kicking and screaming.

"Leave her alone! She doesn't understand what's happening. Stop it." I yelled but the speakers fizzled out, a telling sign of cut communication. Like that was going to stop me.

One guard unclips a set of handcuffs from his belt while another pins Belle to the wall in order to settle her thrashing. It does nothing but make matters worse. She kicks out one to the guards legs, hitting another in the stomach as she desperately tries to escape.

The last guard standing began to drag her out the cell turning her so she faced me. I really did start crying when I saw the look of pure terror on her face. She screamed my name one final time before the doors were promptly slammed in her face.

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Peter it would seem you are needed downstairs. They are having trouble with a prisoner.

"Which one Karen?" I chucked my phone to the side and went to grab my suit as Karen answered.

Belle, sir.

Oh. Maybe the suit isn't such a great idea.

"Okay Karen. I will head down now." Wade shot me a look that screamed 'dont you dare leave me' and I rolled my eyes. "I'll be back soon."

"Yeah yeah. Have fun being heroic."

I plant a kiss on his cheek and head downstairs. Belle's cell is closest to the entrance as she was not considered a high threat at all. That also meant you could hear the shouting from the stairwell.

Her screams overpowered all else spurring me to run faster. What the hell are they doing to her?

The scene I was greeted with made my blood boil. Four officers were pinning her to the floor of her cell as she struggled to wriggle free. One of them was blatantly laughing at her struggle. If I didn't have a reputation to uphold they would most certainly have a one way ticket to the hospital wing.

"Get off her."

"Can it kid." The one who was laughing glared at me, pressing his knee into her back just to spite me.

"I'm sure my dad would love to know how four grown adults are treating a literal kid. Tony Stark doesn't take well to bullies."

That brings them to their senses. They hastily stand up leaving Belle to curl into a ball on the floor. There are red marks that will no doubt flower into bruises littering her face, as well as the faint trickle of blood flowing from her nose.

"Out." The officers waste no time scrambling to the door which I slammed shut after them.

Belle's sobs broke me out of my anger and I ran to her side. My movements must have been too quick as she kicked me so hard I slammed into the wall.

"No! Don't- Don't touch me!" Belle screamed, her eyes wild. Her breathing was fast and shallow, her whole body trembling in uncontrollable fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I hold my hands up hoping her defensive posture would drop. It didn't.

"Listen to me. You're safe and they aren't going to hurt you again. I won't let that happen."

Belle shook her head, clamping her hands over her ears. She screwed her eyes shut as if trying to disappear. Or ground herself? Wait, this seems too familiar. I experience this all too often, when the lights get too bright or the sound of my own heart beating mimics that of a jet engine. She's having a panic attack.

"Karen dim the lights and block out the window. Belle can you hear me?" The lights lowered until we were in almost complete darkness.

Belle showed no signs of acknowledgement. If not for her violent tremors I would say she had passed out. Whether she could hear me or not I needed to calm her down. Her breathing was so irregular that she very well could pass out soon.

"I need you to breathe, Belle. Deep breath in, hold it. Then out. Can you do that for me?"

I could tell she was trying but her breath was hitching painfully and she began choking on her sobs.

"What do you need me to do Belle?"

"Get...Bucky."

I am going to be in so much shit for this. "Karen, unlock cell 1216."

I'm sorry Peter you do not have access.

"Override."

Access denied

"Fine. Activate the Winter Soldiers arm."

Are you sure Peter. This could lead to catastrophic-

"Just do it Karen." The AI beeps in my ear piece and I turn my attention back to Belle. "He's coming Belle. Hang in there."