In My Head • Bucky Barnes

Chapter 3

The next week was living hell. The streets were being patrolled by police at least twice a day and citizens were constantly getting stopped for questioning.

It had gotten to the point where Belle was terrified to leave the apartment, not wanting something to happen to me. Every morning I would awake to find her curled up at the foot of my bed sound asleep; like a dog guarding their owner from harm. And every morning I would pick her up and place her back in her own bed. Whenever she does wake up she comes bounding into the kitchen with a beaming smile on her face as if the night had never happened.

We never brought this up, just like all the other things she does that she thinks I don't know about. I'm worried that if I talk to her about it she'll break: if she breaks I break and that's no good for anyone.

We have fallen into the habit of cooking breakfast together. It's a good distraction for the chaos going on outside. She makes the pancakes, I cook the bacon. We found an amazing radio station that exclusively plays songs from the thirties. I would sing along to all the songs I could remember whilst Belle laughed and danced and swayed.

I sometimes wonder if this is what it could have been like if Hydra never got me. I don't really remember much from my past, only feelings. Good feelings. And a few people too, like Rebecca. The youngest of the Barnes family and quite possibly my best friend. We were so close and only grew closer when Dad passed away. If I hadn't been drafted, Becca and I could have stayed close.

"Whatcha thinking about Bucky?" A fifth pancake was dropped into my plate and I instinctively reached for my cutlery.

"How amazing your pancakes are." I replied, smothering the pancake in golden syrup.

"I learned from the best." I glanced up and see a stack twice as high as my own sat opposite me. Belle gave me a sheepish smile twiddling her thumbs as she sat down.

"I'm hungry."

"There's like twelve Bee."

"As I said. I'm hungry." She repeated this time with a hint of a smirk. I tried to take the top one but she slapped my hand away. "You want more you can make your own. These are mine."

I hold my hands up in surrender and Belle giggles in triumph. I get up and go to the fridge intending to get a drink only to find barren shelves and empty cartons. My heart drops when I realise I am going to have to leave to get groceries.

"Um sorry Belle but I am going to have to go."

"What? Why?" The urgency in her tone made my heart shatter but I tried not to show it.

"We're out of food, doll. I have to leave or you can't eat."

"No. No I'm not letting you leave. You could get hurt Bucky. They could get you." Belle's breathing quickened and she dropped her fork with a clatter. The noise seemed to startle her as she jumped back from the table hitting her back against the wall.

"Hey hey breathe. Just breathe." I catch her hands before they can go to her hair and hold them firmly in my palms. She begins to tremble as she fights back the rising panic.

"I'm going to be okay. I know how to protect myself, you have seen me train plenty of times. Besides it's only across the road. You can sit next to the window and watch me if you want. But I am not having you go hungry, Belle. As much as you want me to be safe your well-being will always come before my own."

"I don't want to lose you." Belle whimpered her nails digging painfully into my palm.

"You'll never lose me."

"They're looking for you."

"I know."

"You won't be long?"