The Seer And The Stetson

The Opposite of Love is Not Hate

"He's nothing but a no-good liar," Ellie grumbled to herself as tore through the forest. River told lies so well, a man would be fool not to believe them. But, what did she expect from a man as crooked as a dog's hind legs?

Her anger came like an impossible build of steam. Scorching her on its way out and would scathe anyone fool enough to be on the receiving end. She wanted to let her rage explode on River and Jolene. Lord knows they deserved it.

Hot tears streaked down her flushed cheeks. A deep sense of shame washed over her. How could she place her trust in him? She should've known better.

She stopped and looked around. She didn't recognize this part of the forest. The pattern of trees, the lay of the land were all completely unfamiliar. Tears came harder, then.

She allowed her thoughts to get the best of her. And wandered through the forest without heeding her surroundings. Something she knew better than to do.

She tried to stop her tears and focus on getting home. But, each time her thoughts returned to the fact that River was part of a murderous band zealously supporting her oppression and the oppression of her people.

The Utter Gang was infamous for their marauding and terrorizing folks in and around the Indian territories. During the war, they acted as the cutthroat arm of the militia of the Confederacy and ran down runaways in their free time.

She scoffed. He always acted so damn concerned about her and her family. She should have seen through his lies. His intentions were to use them all along. Slavery might be over in Washington D.C. but tell that to the Plantation owners in the south.

These musings were soon darkly colored by thoughts of Jolene's lips against his. Her crooked fingers locked in his rusty brown curls. Ellie's hand balled to a fist. Tension forced the muscles in her arm to flex.

'How dare she.' Ellie envisioned her balled fist smashing against Jolene's face repeatedly. She wouldn't be so pretty once Ellie was done with her.

Ellie turned to walk in the direction from which she came. She startled when a branch scratched at the skin on her bare arm. She gazed in fascination as the blood beaded and pooled in the small cut. And, for a moment, Ellie had clarity.

'Why am I so worked up about River kissin' on Jolene?' She pondered. 'He never made any promises to me and I wouldn't believe him if he had. I knew something was offish about him. The fucking Utter Gang! He might as well have called a posse to lynch us. He got some nerve pretendin' that he gives a shit.'

The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told Ellie that those were lies. She wasn't being honest with herself. If she were, she would admit she enjoyed River's company. It was one of the few places she felt safe.

He'd made a place for himself in her life. At times being her friend, her protector in others, and her provider when she needed. Sometimes he was the stoic wall that the wave of her emotions would crash against. He silently bore the weight of her unstable and tortured soul.

She rolled her eyes. She supposed he wasn't all bad. He did have his moments. She pinched her lip between her teeth as she remembered the way he shielded her from those ruffians in Black Brooke.

She'd been finding herself more and more attracted to his lopsided grin and southern drawl. But admitting these things confused her even more. She wanted to hate him. She sighed resigned to the fact that she couldn't.

Her fingers made contact with the blood at her arm and her vision suddenly became unfocused. Through the fog, she saw rolling pastures before a sprawling farmstead and a barn painted red.