The Seer And The Stetson

The Frozen Soul

Ellie found Annie curled across River's chest and Essie nuzzled on his side. The three of them squeezed precariously on the small wooden cot in the corner of the girls' shared room.

Ellie's eyes carried a mixture of shock and barely contained anger. Her first inclination was to rouse him from sleep and kick him out of her house. How dare he assume this role without running it by her first? She hadn't told the girls the truth yet. She wasn't sure she wanted to. No sense in them growing attached to a man who would deny their paternity when it suited him.

But when she stood back and really looked at it, her heart swelled at the sight. He hadn't been there a week and had charmed the socks off her girls. She shook her head in disbelief. She should have seen that coming.

"Mama," Essie's meek voice called in the crepuscular morning light. Her head perked up, rising just above River's chest.

Ellie crept lightly across the room on bare feet. "Yes, baby, it's me. What you doing letting Collins sleep in your bed? You ought to know better than that. I already told you about strangers," Ellie chided.

"Don't be cross Mama. It's ok. Abigail told me, about our daddy-" Realizing her mistake, Essie slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oops." She whispered.

Ellie's eyes widened in the dim light, "Baby, who is Abigail?"

Essie fiddled absentmindedly with her father's shirt, "I promised her I wouldn't say nothin'. She never told me outright but I think she used to be your Mama. She's our Nana."

It couldn't be, Ellie thought, her mother couldn't be the one reaching out to Essie. Denial permeating her thoughts. She had no idea this was happening. She hadn't felt complete since losing her gifts but she finally had the peace she sought since they manifested. She never realized how much she relied on them till now.

Ellie bit her lower lip between her teeth, blinking the tears away. All this time her mother had been with them. It was just like her to forgo happiness in the hereafter in order to watch over them.

"Thank you, Mama." She whispered. A warmth passed over Ellie and Essie's bright eyes darted to the corner of the room.

"She's here, Mama," Essie said in a low voice. "She ain't too happy that I told you about her. But she wants me to tell you to...start over. She says she knows what happened to you. She knows the thing you never told her. She says River Collins and James Buchanan both white, but they ain't the same person. You gotta be b-brave. Find the life you want. Be strong enough to chase it. She says she loves you, Ellie-girl," Essie's head tilted to the side. "What's all that mean, Mama?"

"Nothing, baby. It ain't nothing for you to worry about. Is your Nana still here?" She asked hopeful that her mother hadn't gone just yet.

The glimmer in Essie's eyes died first, then her face fell. "No, she usually don't stay long."

Ellie stepped closer, "Baby, how long have you been seeing Nana?"

Essie shrugged, "Since I can remember. She's always been here with me and Annie."

Ellie choked as tears streamed down her face. A whimper escaped her lips. A warm large hand suddenly encircled hers. When her eyes closed she found herself in a comforting embrace.

"You know, she'd never leave you, Ellie. Not if she could." River's voice blew softly in her ear.

When Ellie pushed back and turned to walk away she heard him speaking to Essie, "Go back to sleep, my darlin' Essie. I gotta see about your mama," She heard the smacking sound he made as he pressed a kiss to Essie's brow.

"Ok daddy," Essie complied

Ellie found herself standing on her front porch. She pulled her tattered coat about her shoulders as a cool breeze danced across the field. Her mother knew everything she'd tried to hide. She'd known all this time and kept the secret with her. Not with her, but for her. People knowing about something like this would devastate her.

"Ellie," River's sinfully sensual voice called to her. She turned to find bedroom eyes fixed on her with dark curls falling over them. God help her when would this infatuation end? Why did this man appeal to every carnal sense she had?

"I s'ppose you heard everything that was said." She turned away quickly, she didn't want him to witness the shame that colored her cheeks.

"I did. You know I'm a light sleeper." River drew nearer. "I know you may have been pleasantly surprised to find that the girls already knew I'm their father-"

"I would not call whatever that was pleasantly surprising." Ellie interrupted.

"Ellie, that was your mama's doing." She could feel him standing right behind her. If she but step back an inch she'd be in his arms again. "What did she mean that I'm not James Buchanan?"

Ellie's body went rigid. All the blood seemed to drain from her face.

"Ellie?" River asked curiously stepping around to face her. "Was he-was he your former master?"

Ellie pressed her lips together in a firm line. She didn't want to answer but thought of her mother's words. "He was."

While she'd heed her mother's advice, she wouldn't willingly give up her darkest secret.

"Did-did he hurt you, Ellie?"

Ellie's eyes went to the corner of the porch as she bit her lip and gave a firm yet solitary nod. River's large hands were suddenly on her shoulders.

Her response was all the confirmation he needed. James Buchanan must have perpetrated some truly heinous act on Ellie to cause such fear and revulsion. He had been made to pay for the sins of this man but who could blame her for the way she felt.

"I get it," He said. "Why you've been so hard with me. Why you had such a hard time lettin' me anywhere near you."

Watery brown eyes met him as he spoke, "Ellie, you may demand more of me. As much or as little as you please. Because at the end of each day I want you to know without question, I would never hurt you or my girls. I would give y'all the shirt off my back if you asked it. My very skin, blood, and bones just to keep you happy."

More tears came, not caused by the sadness and shame of the past but the hope that lit her future. She may yet realize she was a fool to believe River Collins but today his assuredness convinced her otherwise.

Ellie wiped furiously at the fallen tears upon her cheeks, "I don't know about this River. It's always been you and me, never us. It never could be. I mean how? I'm a negro woman and you're a white southerner. It's all been just a complicated series of 'almost'."

When the corner of his mouth pulled into a smile, lines appeared around his eyes from squinting into too many suns. She was using his first name. It felt like he'd just solved the world's most difficult puzzle.

"We can make it us, Ellie. Just give me a chance. I swear I'll work every day to show you that you made the right choice." He stepped closer. Growing bold he wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed her to his chest.

She didn't resist nor turn away. Her delicate arms encircled his waist. It was like her walls were finally coming down. Ellie was tired of always having to say no to so many good things in life just because she wasn't sure of them or just because she was scared. Though it wasn't exactly the love-at-first-sight, she read about in books, it was deeper than that. It was a sense of belonging to a place she never knew she wanted to be but always needed. River was her home that carried a heartbeat.