How To Save A Life [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 37: Last Words

"What do you mean?", Robert asked after a while as he eventually found the words to speak again, "I-... I-... I don't understand. I mean, I hear the words you say but it doesn't make any sense to me at all."

Liz gulped and looked at me, recognizing I was fading more and more.

Immediately, Robert turned around and- obviously- searched for me.

"Is she here?", he wanted to know and anxiously looked around like he'd find me, "Are you here, Kate?"

I swallowed hard, biting my bottom lip as my eyes filled with tears. Then, hesitantly, I reached out for his face, gently caressing his cheeks.

"Robbie, I wish I wasn't but the truth is-", I mumbled and took a deep breath, "I can't stay here any longer. I'd want to because I'm afraid about you. I'm afraid, something bad might happen to you. I'm afraid, you might hurt yourself. I'm afraid, Robbie. But I can't. You're on a good way, yet a long way up, but you're about to carry on. And obviously, I'm not allowed to go along with you."

He raised his hands in defense and shook his head.

"No", he said then, "No, I'm not going to bid adieu to her. I will not say goodbye."

"Robert", Liz urged him and reached out for his arm but he quickly moved away.

"Because if I did so, it would mean that she'll leave", he concluded, his eyes now filling with tears, "If I did so, I'd let her go. I have already let her go, Liz! I can't do that again!"

I swallowed hard and reached out for his hand, looking at him with teary eyes.

"After all this time, I finally know she's still here. I finally know, I haven't lost her completely", he continued quietly, running his fingers through his hair, "I finally feel complete again. And that's just because I know she's still around. I mean, I've seen her, Liz! You do, too! And now you're telling me she's leaving again?"

"She's not leaving you, Robert", Liz corrected him, "She's not leaving voluntarily. She's pulled away, fading away."

Robert gulped and turned his back on her, covering his eyes with his hands as the tears fell silently.

"I can't loose her again", he whispered, his voice shaky, as he slowly shook his head, "I wouldn't stand loosing her again."

He took a deep breath and leaned over the railing, staring down at the cold concrete pavement.

Suddenly, Tom appeared on the roof terrace again, holding a bottle of champagne in his hands as he recognized Robert standing there, his whole body trembling.
Immediately, Liz approached him, slightly shaking her head as she put away the bottle and grabbed his hand instead.

"We should leave him for a while", she whispered almost inaudibly, placing her hand on his chest as she looked up to him, faking a weak smile.

"Okay", Tom agreed without any protest and gently laid his arm around her shoulders, leading her downstairs again.

As soon as the door closed behind them, I uttered a sigh and approached Robert who was standing at the edge, tears silently streaming down his cheeks until they landed on the cold metal of the railing he was still holding on to.

"Robbie", I whispered quietly and took a deep breath, placing my palm on the back of his hand, softly caressing it with my thumb, "I really wish I could go along with you. I really wish I wouldn't have to leave you. But I can't, unfortunately. Yet, I'll never be gone completely. As cliché as it might sound, but a part of me will always be with you. Deep down in your heart. I will always be with you. No matter what happens and no matter what kind of distance will be between the two of us. Because I love you. I love you so much, Robbie. And because I love you so much, you have to promise me something. If anything happens to you- if anything ever happens to you- promise me one thing. Promise me to fight. Promise me, not to give up. You have to fight, Robbie, as long as you can! You have to fight!"