How To Save A Life [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 8: Collision

"So, how was your weekend, Robert?", Liz wanted to know and crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair, "Did you have another anxiety attack?"

He coughed slightly, running his fingers through his hair.

"I had a nightmare", he answered then.

"Did you try what I've told you?", she asked, her voice was soft as always, making the atmosphere around us comfortable.

"I tried but... It's not that easy", he replied and faked a smile.

Liz nodded slightly.

"But I've seen her", Robert added quickly, "In my dreams. I've seen her in my dreams."

"What happened in your dream?", she kept interrogating him.

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

"I was at the hospital, after our accident", he started explaining, "The doctor told me that Kate has died and... Suddenly, she was there."

He hesitated for a second.

"Go on", she said and smiled at him. It was a warm and welcoming smile that made her eyes sparkle like thousands of little stars.

"She talked to me", he continued quietly, "She said she was fine and I shouldn't blame myself because she knew it was not my fault. And she said that she loved me."

"Robert?"

He opened his eyes and stared at her.

"Look at you", she added, "Your hands, your whole body is shivering."

"Oh", he mumbled, nervously wangling his wedding ring.

"You're having another anxiety attack", Liz explained quietly, "You know what to do?"

He faked a smile.

"It's not that easy", he mumbled smirkingly and avoided looking at her.

"Give it a try", she tried to motivate him, "She told you she was fine. She told you there was no reason for you to blame yourself. Don't you believe what she said?"

"She's dead, doc!", he countered seriously, "It was just a dream. She can't talk to me any longer. I'm not even sure whether it was a sweet dream or just a beautiful nightmare, okay?"

He raised his voice, clenching his shivering fists.

I gently wrapped my arms around him. And for a second, I was sure Liz looked right at me as her big brown eyes focused on the place I was sitting next to Robert, an expression of fear and surprise in her eyes. But then she looked back at him.

"I know, it's not easy, Robert", she tried to talk him down, "It's easy for me to say what you have to do but it's really difficult to put the theory into practice."

"She's right, Robbie", I whispered quietly, "You have to try. They're just thoughts, memories. These demons can't hurt you anymore. I'm here for you. And so is Liz. We're trying to help you."

"Breathe and hold, Robert", Liz added calmly, "Breathe and hold. Remember your silver lining. Remember the moment she opened that door. Got it?"

His breath regularized again.

Immediately, she smiled at him.

"Good", she said deeply contented, "That was really good, Robert."

"I'm not an infant", he countered seriously, raising his eyebrow.

"It's nothing I or anyone else could be proud of", he continued sarcastically, "Hey, I'm not crying because I've killed my wife! Yeah, good job, Robert!"

She stared at him intensely, regarding him closely.

"I know you don't realize your success but every little step we take is a huge way to succeeding", she explained to him, her voice calm and welcoming as always, "If you give it a try and let yourself in with this..."

"I know, okay?!", he interrupted her impolitely, "I know because you keep telling me this again and again!"

"Robert John Downey Junior!", I urged him and playfully punched his shoulder, "She's trying to help you!"

She kept observing him quietly as she moved to the front of her seat, unfolding her legs.

"I don't have to do this, Robert", she added then, "I'm trying to help you but that's needless if you're not cooperating with me."

He simply stared at her.

"So, we have to options now", she continued, "Option A, you'll leave and don't come back. You'll have one anxiety attack after another and someday, they're going to break you down. Option B- and by the way my personal and well intended advice- you'll finally let yourself in with this whole situation and accept your fate by letting me help you get through this. It's up to you."

She was tough. She really was. And that's why Robert needed her so badly. She had the courage to tell him the truth, to tell him which way to go. But unfortunately, he actually didn't recognize that.

"We still have an appointment this week, don't we?", she asked after a moment of silence, "Let's try it this way: If you'll be there, we'll keep on doing this. And if not, well... I guess we both know what's going to happen then, right?"

He nodded slightly without saying a word.

"Well then", she concluded anyway, "I guess we're done for today!"

Speechlessly, he got up and left her room without even looking at her.

I knew he didn't mean to be rude. But the problem was, I knew. Nobody else did. They didn't know him the way I did.

The door closed behind him. Liz sighed and ran her fingers through her hair before she got up. I followed her across the hallway as she went to the bathroom and turned on the water faucet before she wetted her face.

She closed her eyes. She seemed to be exhausted. I felt sorry for her because Robert has been so rude to her.

She opened her eyes again and stared at the mirror. Suddenly, I recognized the expression of fear in her dark brown eyes again.

"You must be Kate", she assumed nervously and stared at me in the mirror.