How To Save A Life [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 2: Routine

The alarm clock went on.

Immediately, Robert opened his eyes and turned the alarm off again.

"Shut up", he mumbled quietly, still tired before he got up.

His eyes were bloodshot, his eyelids swollen. Partly because of the alcohol last night, partly because he didn't really sleep at all.

He slowly drifted into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

I followed him, regarding him as the hot water poured down his head, all over his well- trained body. I but my bottom lip as I watched him like that and immediately remembered all the times we've spent inside this shower together.

Suddenly, his phone rang and he turned off the water again, rubbing his hair with a towel while he wrapped himself in another one.

"Yeah?", he answered the call and stared at the mirror, his eyes wide open.

It was Tom who called him. I knew because... Well, I simply knew it.

"I'm on my way", Robert lied and brushed his teeth.

Tom was a good influence on Robert. He cared for him and tried to make him live his life again. Although Robert didn't actually let himself in with Tom's ideas but I believed in him. Like I always did.

Robert quickly got dressed in a dark blue suit and a white buttoned shirt with a tie.

Good looking, as always.

I followed him as he walked outside and sat down in his car. I sat down on the passengers seat next to him, observing him closely as I recognized him having another anxiety attack.

He clung to the steering wheel, closing his eyes, breathing heavily.

"Kate!", I heard him shouting my name.

But I didn't answer. I couldn't because I was already dead.

"Kate!"

He grabbed my corpse's shoulder, trying to wake me up as his eyes filled with tears.

He carefully touched my pale face and looked at his fingers that were now all blood stained.

"Kate", he mumbled quietly and stared at my lifeless corpse.

He was afraid. Not only of the darkness but also of driving again. He never actually drove a car since our accident that night. And these damn flashbacks didn't make life easier for him.

I reached out for his hand, softly stroking the back of his hand.

"Breathe, Robert", I whispered, "Breathe and hold, breathe and hold, breathe and... Hold."

I recognized his breath regularizing again.

"Good", I mumbled and half smiled at him, "That's good, Robert."

I gently stroked his arm, feeling him shiver all through his body as his eyes filled with tears again.

He was mentally fragile, like he was made of porcelain. He needed help. Urgently! Otherwise, he'd be prostrated by his sorrow.

"I'm okay, Robert", I whispered and held him in a tight embrace, feeling his heart beating rapidly, "Don't worry about me. It didn't hurt to die and I don't feel any pain right now either."

I wished he could hear me. I wanted him to know I was okay, to know I wasn't blaming him.

"I love you so much, Robert", I whispered and my eyes filled with tears as well, "You were and still are my life! Everything I am and everything I do... I do for you. And I can't see you this way, so hurt and fragile. You're not yourself anymore."

"I didn't want this to happen", he sobbed quietly, "I never wanted to hurt you, Kate. I just want you to know..."

He paused.

I loved when he talked like he thought I was listening to him. Every time I he did so, I believed he recognized I was still around, taking care of him. But I didn't like to see him blaming himself for my death.

"Don't you ever think like that again", I countered and kissed his cheek, "Don't you ever think like that again, Robert."

I softly caressed his hair, smelling his irresistible scent.

"I miss you, Kate", he continued, "I'd do everything just to hold you in my arms once again..."

I smiled at him and gently kissed his cheek.

"I won't leave you", I promised him then, "I'll always be there for you, Rob. No matter what's going to happen."

I wasn't going to leave him under any circumstances. I'd take care of him for the rest of our time.

Suddenly, he exited the car again, dialing a number on his phone.

I followed him outside, wiping away the last tears in my eyes.

"Tom?", he asked then, "Can you fetch me? I can't. I just-... I can't."

He sat down on the ground, leaning his head against the silver Audi R8 behind him, waiting.

I sat right next to him, softly laying my head against his shoulder as I stroked the back of his hand.

Suddenly, I recognized a black car slowly coming towards us.

It was Tom.

Robert looked up to him as he exited his car.

"Hey mate", he greeted with his soft British baritone voice.

Robert didn't say a word. He simply stared at Tom, moreover he stared through him.

"Another anxiety attack?", he asked and kneed down in front of us, his bright blue eyes regarding Robert closely.

He nodded slightly, still not answering.

"How's it now?", Tom kept on interrogating, "Did you follow the breathing instructions?"

Robert nodded again.

"Come on, Rob", Tom said and got up again, gently offering him his hand, "I'm sure you didn't even have breakfast today."

"I'm not hungry at all", Robert finally countered as he followed Tom to his car.

I sat down on the backseat, following every step of him.

He made himself comfortable on the passengers seat, anxiously staring out of the window. It seemed like he was searching for something, or someone. But he wouldn't find it. Not on this side.

I knew what he thought of. I caught him thinking of committing suicide so many times. And right now, he thought of it again.

"Don't take any chances", I whispered quietly, hoping this was just his fantasy.

But his time has not come. There were too many people holding on to him. He was not ready to pay me a visit. His time on this side was not expired.

Not now.