fall for me - jschlatt x reader

feelings

- 2090 words
*not proofread*

hi everyone😀 don't hate me for the last chapter, i love you all. also back to back updating!? sheeesshhh.

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         you were sitting in your bed, under the covers, with a tub of ice cream in your lap and a large soup spoon nestled tightly in your clenched fist.

everything was too much. the lights were too bright, the air was too cold, the sheets weren't in that perfect position.

it had been a week (maybe two?) since your breakup with schlatt, and you didn't know how he was doing, but you felt miserable. you couldn't stop berating yourself over and over, wondering why you couldn't just let yourself be happy for once.

the relationship was going fine, he even admitted he was going to ask you to move in, yet you still found a way to ruin it.

bullet was at your feet, side-eyeing you and making sure you weren't dead. at least you had him during these times.

you could always reach out to a friend, but you hadn't told anyone about your relationship in the first place, so that meant you'd have to talk about all of it and you couldn't handle that amount of pain just yet. you needed mending time. time to heal and fix yourself and get your life back on track.

but that could wait until tomorrow.

because right now, your eyes were red and burning, your hair messy, your cheeks stained from tears. huffing a breath, you got out of bed and quickly grabbed a towel and fresh clothes, deciding a shower would be best.

you thought about those showers you would take with schlatt. the way he'd run his fingers through your hair and untangle it so gently, the way he'd lather your body with soap that smelled like him. the steam would surround the two of you and pull you that much closer-

you had to stop. you could already feel tears forming at the corner of your eyes again, and you silently wiled them away as you shed your clothes and ran the water.

during your shower, you allowed yourself to wonder what schlatt was doing. yes, it was unhealthy and definitely unnecessary, but you could deal with that later.

was he as upset as you? did he feel that empty, gaping pit in the middle of his heart the same way you did? did he beat himself up every time he thought about you?

or did he move on? get through the day as he would any other? those questions swirled around your mind, and you found yourself slowly sinking to the floor when you thought about the possibility that he simply didn't care after you left.

you sat under the water, but there were no tears. there was nothing left. what if he really didn't care? does it even matter now that you aren't together?

too many questions. you felt your heart rate pick up and your breathing stagger. you knew what was coming now, and you didn't even have the strength to fight it.

schlatt would've held you, told you to breath, place your hand over his heart to calm you down.

that thought felt like an actual punch in the throat. you gasped for air, but you knew you were already too far out. all you could do was wait for it to pass.

your persistent questions about how schlatt felt didn't help, either, they only worsened your anxiety and spiked your nervousness. you could feel yourself squeeze your eyes shut and clench your fist at your side.

"breathe, (y/n), breathe with me," he said calmly, lifting your hand and placing it on his chest. you focused on his heartbeat, feeling yourself breathe and slowly settle down.