Our Secret Dream 2

Meeting The Family

It's been a couple of days since I went out clubbing with Quinn and after the amount we drank I've only just recovered. Let's not even mention that fact that I went full on psycho and Chris has to man handle me just to leave.

I don't think I have ever drank so much in my life where I have actually felt like death. Like if the grim reaper had come knocking on my door he would have turned away to just leave me in my pit of misery. Most likely laughing at my self inflicted torture.

Last night whilst I was bing eating skittles and chocolate whilst snuggled up in bed watching a show on Netflix, Bryan booked us some last minute tickets to fly to Jersey. Back to the place he calls home.

Isn't it insane how we have been together 15 months and yet this is the first time I've been invited to go home with him, to meet his other siblings and his mom? I mean it's not like he's been home a whole lot since we met but still I can count around 6 trips where I've stayed here in LA. I would never have pushed it though as family was a complicated thing and everyone's was different. Hell I don't even have a family so I have the advantage of never having to worry about getting approval from them. I know I don't really talk about them ever but it's not a happy place for me to go to in my mind. I've told Bryan a little about them and that they are not in my life and haven't been for years and he's accepted that. He doesn't push me on the topic or ask me questions. Besides I've made it very clear to him that when it comes to family I have Quinn, her parents and Bryce. They became my family and I would do anything to help or protect them.

To say that I'm excited about going home with him is only one of the thousand feelings I have right now. As always my anxiety is at an all time high, capturing so many different thoughts and questions every passing second.

What if his sibling don't like me and we don't get along?

Hell what if his mother hates me and dosent think I'm good enough for him? I know that we have spoken over the phone and on FaceTime but still you don't really get to know someone until you meet them in person. Bryan didn't have to get permission or meet any family from me as I don't have any. Other than Quinn, her parents and Bryce I dont have a family - Both Quinn and Bryce are like my siblings. Her parents are like my adoptive parents. They were the ones who would take me on holidays. Treat me to presents and treats on my birthday or at Christmas. Fuck, they even helped me cover the costs of my university fees. Like Quinn they treated me like their daughter too. I know that if I ever need help I could call them and they help me in the same way as they'd help
Quinn.

Up until Bryan they were my everything but now thanks to him I have so much more on the line to loose. People who I  genuinely care about. I need them to like me.

I know I should tell him how I'm feeling but I don't want to worry him or make him feel like if it came down to it he'd be made to choose. I would never ask him to pick between his family and me. As hard as it would be I'd make the decision for him and by that I mean I would have to break my own heart by walking away and not marrying him.

I'm currently sat on the floor in our bedroom hiding behind my suitcase with my hands in my hair pulling on the roots. Why do I do this? Why can't I just be set free? I hear footsteps getting closer to the room. I'm about to get up from the floor when the bedroom door swings opens and in walks Bryan. He looks around the room before our eyes lock. 'Are you okay love?' He asks whilst taking a few steps closer to me, covering me in a comforting blanket from his presence alone. I lift up my head and smile. 'What's happening inside that beautiful head of yours?' He asks whilst squatting down and moving some stray hair from my face. 'I'm just nervous.' I whisper, leaning into the palm of his hand. 'You already know my mom loves you. You have nothing to worry about Princess.' He leans in and presses his lips to mine in a sweet and tender kiss.