Our Secret Dream 2

Old Wounds Still Bleed

ISABELLA's POV

I'm nervous and I hate this feeling. Sky and Bryan have just up and left me standing awkwardly beside Chris. I glance to my side subtly taking him in. His curly brown hair flopping down on his forehead. His lips slightly parted as he sucks in shallow breaths. I look away from him and fall lost to my thoughts again. I get that this was the plan that we'd agreed on but I think a little part of me was still thinking she'd stay and help me.

I get it more than anyone but I don't know what to say or how to act around him which is confusing. Before all of this shit we'd become so comfortable around each other and now it's just awful. It feels like I'm walking on egg shells. It's unpredictable how either of us are going to behave.

If it feels like this now will we ever be able to get back to what we once had? Is that even what either of us want? A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I shake my head trying to both calm and clear my thoughts.

I keep my eyes trained on the gravelly ground beneath me as I turn on my heel and start walking up the mountain. Leaving Chris to follow behind me. I look at the two trails in front of me, deciding on the slightly longer trail to the one Bryan and Sky took. After everything that's happened we are going to need the extra miles. Maybe if I just start walking Chris will follow and I'll somehow think of a way to break the ice.

I keep walking upwards, savouring the warm breeze as it brushes past my face and into my long blonde hair, causing it to dance in the wind. A small smile wisps across my lips. I need more days outside like this. Well maybe not amongst all this awkwardness but outside in nature, under the warm Californian sun.

I can hear Chris walking behind me, the crunch of stones beneath his feet getting louder as he gets closer to me. He's probably staring at my ass in these tight yoga shorts too. The thought makes me smile. No, stop it Isabella. He's not a good guy. He played you. Made you fall in love with him just so he could break you down into millions of pieces. Tearing you apart just so he could say I made the English girl fall in love with him. Don't open your heart to him again. It's too much of a risk.
  I shake my head and dismiss the smile, just as Chris falls into step with me. So that we can walk side by side for a while. Stealing sideway glances at me every few seconds. He really needs to stop that. My skin sets alight whenever I feel his eyes on me.

'I guess we should actually talk, huh?' I say a light hearted tone to my voice, trying to make this whole situation less awkward. I want to see him smile. I know that I shouldn't but I want it. I crave it. Chris laughs at my attempt to break the ice, giving me exactly what I want. I glance across to him taking in as many of his features as I can, a smile mirroring the of my own, his smile, the glisten in his eyes, the crinkle of his nose which tugs at my heart. Damn I love the sound of his laugh....

'Yeah we should. I've been waiting for today, this moment that I'd get to see and speak with you again. The lead up to right now feels like it's been an eternity' he answers hesitantly once he's stopped laughing. For the first time today he actually looks sincere and nervous. 'I really want to explain everything to you Bells, but I also want to hear from you on what happened' I nod in agreement and start telling him everything that Tristan had said to me whilst we were at the mall. How easy it was for him to make my whole life come crashing down around me. His face scrunches up in anger the more and more I tell him. My face drops down and I look at the ground again, from the corner of my eye I can see his hands bunched into fists his knuckles turning white. Maybe I shouldn't have told him everything and just given him the short light hearted version.

I take a deep breath and break away from him to sit down on the bench, that looks out over LA. I place my bag down beside the bench and silently look out taking in the beauty before us. Chris walks around the bench, sitting down beside me. Keeping a small space between us.