Our Secret Dream 2

I'm not a Disposable Toy!!

We arrived home about an hour ago. I said hi to the boys briefly as I passed them to grab a bottle of water before I went up stairs. I really wasn't in the mood to hangout with everyone. My head and my heart feels like they have been through a windmill, leaving me dazed and confused.

I quickly get changed in our room before I poke my head out the door. I can hear all the boys laughing from downstairs. I release a relieved sigh from my lips before padding my way down the hail way towards Quinnie.
I needed some girl time and someone to talk to about how confused I am feeling. Am I confused or am I upset that he didn't let me finish? Is this sexual frustration - no it's not that I don't even think this is about the not being able to cum thing anymore. It's about how he made me feel. He crossed a line I didn't even realise I'd set for us.

I know that she's not with Dom as he was in the kitchen when we got home. Not that I'd feel guilty about interrupting them, it's on the list of rules when your in an overwhelming situation you can interrupt any situation and the 'bestie' aka Quinn has to drop all to help. I knock on the door and walk inside when she shouts to come in. She's sat on the bed scrolling through something on the telly, she looks over to me smiling but the minute her eyes lock with mine she frowns and rushes over to me. Concern and angry radiating from her small body.

Quinn 'What happened Sky?'

I shake my head and walk over to her bed sitting down with my back against the head board. Quinn rushes over and joins me. I can feel my eyes starting to swell with tears why is this happening.

Quinn 'Sky, what happened?'

Skylar 'I need some advice, I'm feeling conflicted Quinn. He's never done anything like this before?

Quinn 'Who hasn't Bryan?'

Skylar 'He refused & used me Quinn?'

Quinn 'Refused you what?'

Skylar 'We got down and head in the bathroom at the club and just as I was going to cum, he said I couldn't'

Quinn 'oh, is this the first time?'

Skylar 'Yeah. Has Dom ever?'

Quinn 'Yeah. It's a big thing for him though it only usually lasts an hour before he puts me out of my misery.'

Skylar 'I just feel confused. Is it normal to feel like this?'

Quinn 'Completely, I felt the same way the first time too. Have you talked to him?'

Skylar 'No, I have you to talk to about this stuff. I don't want him to know Quinn.'

Quinn 'Okay.'

Skylar 'I'm not annoyed cause I didn't finish, it's just confusing. Not to mention the way he was with me, it made me feel used like a disposable toy. Not someone you love and want to marry. Maybe I'm not what he needs Quinn...I thought I was a submissive but maybe I was just kidding myself. Or maybe my bratty side took it to far....I"

I can feel the tears fall free and trickle down my cheek before falling onto the bed. My vision going cloudy and my chest tightening. I'm spiralling and this time I'm not fighting the thoughts, they are actually winning and making sense. I look down at my engagement ring and in this moment I'm not sure I can do this. Maybe saying Yes was a mistake....

I know Quinn is watching me, she wraps an arm around me and pulls me to her for cuddle. She stops my hands from fiddling and forces me to make eye contact.

Quinn 'Its okay to have these moments of fear and confusion Sky, trust me we all have them but don't you for one fucking second start thinking your not who you are. You have always been a bratty submissive it's who you are to stop being that person would be to stop being Skylar Fucking Rivers. You didn't take anything to far and as for getting married, you love Bryan and he loves you, you are literally perfect for each other done let one confusing moment destroy everything you have.'