Our Secret Dream 2

Spiralling Into Oblivion 😣

A/N Update!!! - Sorry guys I just realised that I posted the wrong update for this chapter! I guess that's what happens when you edit chapters twice and forget to update Wattpad from the master document! The majority of my chapters are pre-written and just waiting on editing before I post. Sorry again - this is the correct version for this chapter. ❤️❤️

It's been nearly a week since the huge fight between Chris, Bella, Tristan and I and I haven't spoken to Tristan at all.

If anything I've been avoiding him like the plague, not willing to give him a chance to grovel or apologise. I know what I said ... when I went over to the main house but since sobering up and actually being able to process everything that I knew as an adult.

I decided that I didn't want Tristan in my life. I don't want him around me. He's toxic. All this I did it for a prank idea and I wanted to see if she was clout farming is bull shit. He knows why he did it and he's not being honest about it. Maybe if he actually told us the truth I'd be able to consider forgiving him..he'd need to do soon though if he wants that because the longer he waits the more doubt and disappointment sets in making it harder to let him recover from this.

If he can be so reckless with his best friends feelings and relationships then what does that really say about his loyalty? Bro-code clearly got thrown out the window. As much as I really dislike him I would never ask Bryan or the other boys to cut him out of their lives. They've known him longer than I have and everyone deserves to have the opportunity to make their own decisions without it impacting anything else.

It's hard because Bryan is still trying to keep the peace with both Chris and Tristan. Not because he agrees or condones what Tristan did but more because I'm still completely off the rails. I'm stressed beyond relaxation. I'm practically a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode again. Sleep has been pretty non existent. Which Bryan hasn't missed, I know he's starting to get more and more concerned about me and my health and well being. Both physically and mentally.

In the mornings I get up at 6am to start my work day. Super early I know but it's what has to happen if I want to keep
Somewhat on top of things :- Emails, Tik Toks, Recording, Blog, Studio Time and whatever else the day chucks my way. I can let my career fall behind just because of all this personal drama.

At lunch time I prepare a meal for Bryan and I. I put a plate up in the fridge for Bella even though I know she isn't going to eat it. The most she's eaten in the past week is an apple and a protein bar. In the afternoon I'm mostly on the phone with Chris helping him process his feelings or upstairs with Bella making sure they are doing okay. I worry about her on a scary level. I've not said anything to Bryan or anyone else but I'm worried she's going to do something bad, like start cutting or hurting herself bad...

Since Bella won't talk to Chris and I'm fairly certain she has blocked his number I've become a flipping carrier pigeon for them. Passing messages to each other. I don't understand why they can't just text directly. *sigh* I'm not mad about it. I promise. I'm just tired. I want all of this to end and for us to get back to normal. Even if that is a new normal. Mel is still away at her retreat which is both a blessing and a curse. I've been keeping her up to date with everything. She's already mentioned that we will have to have a huge team meeting when she returns to see if the house can continue with Tristan inside it. Seems that the damage from all of this might be too much to repair whilst keeping us all together. I'm not sure but I get the feeling Chris has asked Mel if he can terminate his contract with the house..I'd hate him not being apart of the house but at the same time I'd still see him all of the time and he'd most likely want to move in with Bryan and I. He wouldn't even have to ask he's always welcome here - as long as Bella has left which I know he knows.