Always and forever

60 - So beautiful

Sanem

"Don't be afraid Sanem, from now on I'll be there for you, always and forever."

I can't believe he's here with me and I can't believe the words he just whispered to me, bringing my hand to his lips, in that sweet and seductive way I've always adored.

I shake my head unable to assimilate the reality that I find myself living, I'm about to ask him what his intentions are when he himself makes it clear with a simple question.

- Well? Where are we going to live in San Diego?

- Are we? -

- Of course, you don't think I'm going to let you go after I've found you for the second time in a few days, we're husband and wife, it's normal that we're going to live together -

- Can...

Once again his fingers resting on my lips in a gentle caress prevent me from countering.

- We'll talk later, right now I just want to know about the place you've chosen to live in San Diego, I'm curious...".

Despite myself, I get excited describing to him the cottage on Pacific beach that I have chosen for my stay, it has large windows and a terrace that overlooks the vegetation overlooking the beach, it has a spectacular view, it is small but tastefully decorated.
I immediately fell in love with it as soon as I saw the photos online on the rental website.

He looks at me smiling and asks me for details about the new job for which I am going to California, in a short time I let myself go and I begin to tell him about what I will do in collaboration with the American publishing house and the idea I had for my third book.

I talk for a long time enthusiastically about the work that awaits me, and at a certain point I notice his intense gaze fixed on me - What is it? What's going on? -

He shakes his head - Nothing, it's just that I've just seen a picture of us sitting on a pier and I'm there, exactly as I am right now, enchanted by your energy, your genuine enthusiasm, your daydreaming about writing your book one day -

I look at him surprised, I nod excitedly - It's a memory, of Ağva, we were just on a pier and I was telling you about my dream of becoming a writer - I look at him tilting my head to the side - How many of these fragments are you remembering? -

- Since I'm closer and closer to you, I think you are my medicine Sanem -

- What a nice thing he said.... -

I frown, trying to mentally rebuke my inner voice which is apparently starting to have a bit of a soft spot for Mr Divit lately.

Can looks at me quizzically, I shake my head changing the subject - We have time, tell me some -

He describes to me several images that he has seen suddenly appear, very often without context but, sometimes, full of all the emotions he felt.

- That kiss Sanem  , I remember our stolen kiss in the dark of that theatre and with the images of us clasped in an embrace I remember exactly every shocking feeling I felt. You described it in your book but what I feel has nothing to do with your description, it's something powerful and instinctive, I felt something I've never felt before, I felt I recognised you as the one and only one for me -

I remain breathless.
Not even Can, my Can from before, had ever spoken to me like that about our first meeting, it's beautiful what he has just told me, I am forced to look away and look out of the porthole for a few moments to regain some composure.

The arrival of the hostess with the dinner trolley interrupts that strong, emotional moment, to which I didn't know exactly how to react, I would have liked to throw my arms around his neck and hold him tight but it was neither the time nor the place.

We have dinner chatting, then they announce that a film is about to be shown, a romantic comedy, we should be comfortable to watch it but clearly I struggle to find a position that is comfortable, I see him at one point raise the armrest that divides our seats and draw me towards his chest to make me lie down - Come, this way you should be more comfortable -

I let go, my heart beats a thousand times for his closeness, for his warmth, his scent and when he embraces me I almost feel faint with emotion, and again she:

 - How beautifuuuul -

Nothing, I can't even trust my inner voice anymore, Can Divit has managed to bewitch even her, no woman can resist him, not even imaginary ones.

I enjoy these moments in his arms while my heart beats at a crazy pace because of his closeness but also because of something deep inside that exalts and scares me at the same time.

Why is he with me on this plane? What does it mean for him and for us?

I'm almost afraid to find out, afraid of deluding myself again, but it feels so good to be held in his arms....