Always and forever

51 - Difficult beginnings

Can

In a short space of time, I had managed to close my job and catch a flight to London a week before the three-month deadline.

I couldn't rest, I had to reach her as soon as possible or it could be too late for us this time, so many signs let me understand that Sanem had changed, the enormous sufferings she had had to suffer because of me several times during our story had changed her and this time what I had done to her could be too much to forgive.

She had opened her heart dispassionately to a man who looked at her like a stranger, she had tried to continue to love him with every gesture and every look and I had completely ignored her if not deliberately hurt her by feeling threatened by her expectations of us. No, this time it might really be too much to forgive, even for her and her infinite love for me.

I was anxious about not being able to find out exactly where she was, how could I reach her once I arrived if I had no clue where she was?

I landed at London airport, left my luggage at the hotel and decided to get my work out of the way as I had come to London, I went to the publishing house and handed over all the photographs I had taken over the last three months, we would be in touch later to finalise the details.

I made friends last time with a journalist of Turkish origin, and I ask him if he knows the Turkish author Sanem Aydin, who was recently in London for the presentation of her new book.

He tells me that he has not read her books but he heard about her presence here last month, in the publishing world everyone knows everything about everyone.

I ask him for help to find some information to reach her as she is a dear friend of mine and I would like to visit her since I am here, we do a search on the internet together and get nowhere, after all I had already tried alone and it was a failure.

At a certain point I see him resume typing resolutely on the keyboard and shortly afterwards he smiles triumphantly at me.

-I thought I would try to look on the website of the English inter-library system where the smaller events held in the small local libraries are often advertised, and there it was, she was scheduled to meet with readers in the Plymoyth library tomorrow at 5pm -.

I can't believe my luck, if I hadn't come here I would never have been able to find out, it must be a sign it can't be any other way, something is leading me to her and this time I don't need a vision to see what it is.

I think back to her engagement ring and the amber stone from which the main stone had been carved, it must be so there is no other explanation, the amber stone was probably leading me to my beloved.

I spend a restless night and at first light in the morning I am already up and ready to catch the train to that remote Cornish town of Plymoyth, who knows how she ended up there?

The journey seems endless, more than six hours sitting on a train seat makes me feel like a caged lion, I'm impatient to see her, I'm scared shitless that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, that she's decided that this time my behaviour doesn't deserve her forgiveness.

I arrive just in time to reach the library, which fortunately is not very far from the station, and I arrive to see her from afar climbing the steps and disappearing into the large doorway of the old building hosting the reading meeting.

There are so many people who have come to meet my Sanem, I am not surprised, she is good, she is really good, she is able to transport you with her words into her heart and mind and the reader cannot help but love her and the story she is telling.

I go into the packed library, the seats are already full so I decide to stop at the back of the room, I want to wait until the meeting is over before going to talk to her. I see her reach the table set up for her together with a man who, at a certain point, puts his arm on her shoulder while they laugh together about something.