Your Love is Unkind

Higher Standards

Subin still standing in his doorway only stares from afar. His eyes twinkle and I don't know whether the tears are of pity or remorse, but I immediately look away. If I've lost everything, at least I have my dignity, I thought to myself. Closing my eyes to regain strength, I can only hear footsteps approaching. The part of me that wishes it were Subin is drowned out by the fear that it was him as well. What would we say to each other? What was there to be said?

Would I hold it against him that he left me there, waiting? Would he even care that I was hurt? I peer up, my heart pounding in anticipation, only to be met by Byungchan's own sorrowful eyes. "I'm guessing Hanse cleared everything up?," I ask, alleviated to see his face. He shakes his head no, "Nope, but I figured it out on my own and there's no way you would do that to me." With both arms out he pulls me up back on my own two feet. I glance one last time towards Subin's doorway and he's no where to be found. I just needed to accept the fact that he really didn't care. I would have to force myself to really move on.

As we make it into our room, I collapse on the messy bed. Finally able to laugh off the confusion that had gone on earlier today. We exchange sides of the story coming to the conclusion that Byungchan had no idea how serious things with Hanse could get. His face a bright red as he realizes the naked man was waiting for him.

"I really messed up," Byungchan admits shamefully when a knock interrupts him. Without waiting for a response the doorknob turns and the door opens to discover a half exposed Hanse, still in the robe. Expecting him to be upset, Byungchan waits patiently for him to speak first. Not a word is said as Hanse makes his way to his clothes.

Casually he sits on the edge of the bed and removes the pair of flip flops he had also found in the room and begins to place his socks back on. "My feet are cold," he divulges and the room erupts in laughter. Hanse had walked all day in a silly robe for Byungchan and I finally realized I deserved someone who would do that for me.