Your Love is Unkind

Wake Up

As I sit there in silence I wonder how much of last night Subin can remember. I take the opportunity to hold his hand, knowing that when he wakes up it probably won't happen again. His eyes begin flutter open and I pull away quickly, hiding my hand in my lap.

Subin turns his full body to me; "You could have laid next to me," He flirts like always. He reaches for the hand on my lap, "You can still hold my hand," He proposes.

Involuntarily, I let out a noisy laugh; "Hold your own hand," I tease like a three year old.

The easiest thing would be to run for the door while he's down. He'll manage to make it with out me, I think . But as I lift myself off the chair, I feel a tiny tug at my sleeve.

I had never seen such a needy look on his face. "Don't," He pleads, not finishing his sentences but making himself very clear. " I'll make it up to you later," He bargains and my heart sinks.

What made him think he had to make it up to me? Why wouldn't I stay just because ?

"I'll stay," I blurt out, surprising myself. "But only if you let me make you some ramen," I offer as an only option.

I wouldn't allow him to pay me any other way. And I wondered if he had ever experienced kindness with no strings attached.

Subin's lower lip trembles as if he were ready to burst into tears. Instead he turns away to hide his face, " As long as you don't poison me," He jokes as a defense mechanism. He didn't want me to know the great Subin had feeling.