Your Love is Unkind

Special

The time had flown by and neither one had noticed until the sun had lowered and was almost out of sight. Subin quickly sat up and peeks at his phone. His eyes widen and he struggles to his feet.

"I've- , uh, we have to go," He stutters, as he pulls me up off the dinosaur blanket he had set up. He then stuffs the blanket back in his backpack and pulls me by his side.

Till this day, I can't tell if he was serious or if it was sarcasm; but before we begin our journey home, Subin commands, "Just stay close to me, I'll keep you safe."

I shift closer to his warm body and feel the temperature rising inside my own. I pretend I actually need his protection, which clearly I don't. I'm an inch away from six feet and I could probably use Subin to weight-lift. 

As we walk down the dark, quiet street, I keep my eyes glued to the back of Subin's neck. I felt  like I was in one of those vampire movies, and I was
the vampire. The urge to bite into him wasn't fading away. Would it be so bad just to get a taste?  Would it be enough? With out thinking, I close the gap between my lips and his nape.

Suddenly Subin stops and with him my heart stops too. And I could think is "Fuck, Fuck, I fucked up," and the panic begins to take over me. I take step back and I want to offer him an apology but my lips wouldn't move.

Subin's eyes don't look angry at all, he doesn't even look surprised.

"Ha," he shouts, "I knew you were gay."

The blood rises to my face and I can feel my cheeks turning red. I can't believe I thought this was some sort of date. Or that I assumed  Subin would ever consider even looking my way. And even though Subin would become someone special to me; the doubt always existed, was I ever special to Subin? or was I just like everyone else?