Your Love is Unkind

Better Days

Like the gentleman that I was, I walked Subin to his door. But in true Sejun fashion I only waved him goodbye awkwardly. I didn't know if I should lean in for another kiss, and giving him handshake seemed weird. I really never knew how to properly hug someone. The only thing that I could think of was that stupid hand wave.

But to my surprise Subin was thrilled, he waved right back and disappeared into the darkness of his room.

I envied small things like those. I could never walk into a room with out switching on the lights first. But Subin was so confident in himself, it's like he knew no matter what came at him, he would be ok. He had no fear of life. And at times when we were together, I would feel invincible too.

I made my way back to my own room, back to dragging my feet to my lonely corner. And oddly enough, I was already missing Subin. Not his kisses, not his warmth, but the way Subin made me feel. The way he filled the emptiness inside me.

As I prepared myself to sleep, I contemplated on how it had been a while since I felt excited to start another day. But it wasn't all thanks to Subin.

The next day was special because my best friend was coming back to town. Byungchan was the most important person in my life. He was the only thing that kept me sane on my worst days.

The best way to describe Byungchan was a ball of dorkiness inside of beautiful man. Sometimes I wondered if Byungchan knew how beautiful he really  he was. And that's why I felt like it was my job to remind him.

Sometimes it seemed like he didn't have much going on in his pretty little head, but Byungchan was studying to be a doctor. Ever since we were little it was his dream.

He would dress up in his doctors costume and come to my rescue. And he was no different now that we had grown up. Except now he wouldn't be able to fix my heart with a kiss and a bandaid.