Disappointed ?

128 7 5
by ikpopAlot
by ikpopAlot
                                    
                                              I doze in and out of consciousness as I'm dragged into an apartment.  Only catching a glimpse of the arms that pull me through the hard, cold floor. The fight in me had burned out and I let my body go limp. The last thing I see is Subin's face and I can finally let myself go into a deep sleep. 
                          Hours go by and I just can't bring myself to wake up. In the far distance a steady beeping noise, and whispers. When I finally find the will to peel my eyes open, Seungwoo stands up immediately and rushes to my bedside. "So you finally decide to wake up?, I was so worried," he whines. I continue to inspect the room, searching for Subin, yet he's no where to be found. 
                          "Disappointed?," Seungwoo asked, almost as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. "No!," I snap at him unintentionally. In reality I hoped Subin would be there, waiting for me. But in actuality, maybe he could care less what happened to me. "You were calling me Subin when I dragged you into my apartment," Seungwoo responds, pitying me. 

                          And now it all made sense why Subin wasn't here now, he had never been there at all. A rush of emotions come over me, unsure of what I should be feeling. Should I be worried ? maybe he showed up after I left? Did he not show up at all ? Did he even care? 
                          Seungwoo reaches for my hand and clenches it hard. "You deserve better," he quietly adds under his breath. Deep down inside I agreed, yet I managed to convince myself I was wrong. I felt like pulling away from his grasp, but I remained still. I was a little afraid Seungwoo would lean in for the kiss while I was weak at heart. A part of me wished he would so I could forget Subin. 
                          He stayed by my side until the doctors felt it was safe to return home. Seungwoo even got us a taxi to the dorms and walked me up to my room. As I turn to say goodbye to him I spy Subin exiting his own room. Without warning, I pull Seungwoo in for an embrace, closing my eyes to avoid Subin's piercing eyes from down the hall. Hugging Seungwoo felt nice, and warm; But above all it felt wanted.