Your Love is Unkind

Subins Story

He tries to avert his stare away from my pants, his face flushed with pink. And even though I thought I could calm myself down, the thought of being able to excite Subin turned me on more.

I served the ramen, relieved that Subin had given up on his mission but also regretting not being able to have release. Almost wishing he would resume until his voice breaks the silence.

"I- I don't know why I do that", Subin admits, almost ashamed of his actions. And with that, the throbbing in my pants loses its intensity. Actually I kind of felt a little fucked up after that.

" I like attention, I want people to want me, I want to have meaning and purpose, but all I have to give is this," He bows his head in shame.

"I'm not special,"He continues and I can't bring myself to interrupt,"And every good thing that I have I end up messing up".

And then his face turns from sorrow to serious and he demands,"So don't try loving me Sejun, I can already feel you getting close".

And he wasn't wrong. How dumb was it of me to be falling for someone I barely knew? Someone who couldn't return the feeling that I had for him? Someone who despite all my good intentions didn't want my love?

But when everything inside knew it was wrong. All I could bring myself to answer was, "I don't care, you don't have to love me, I just want to be close to you". I softly utter the words and Subin's face reveals the pitty he feels for me. But he doesn't send me away.