Your Love is Unkind

All Night

Subin's spot was on a tiny hill overseeing a pond. The view was actually amazing, but it was under appreciated. Only Subin could see it's beauty, Subin could see the beauty in everything. I know for a fact because he could see the beauty in me, even when I wasn't so beautiful. Even on the days I didn't feel like I deserved him.

Subin began by taking out a blanket from his backpack. "Did you just-" before I could even finish my sentence, Subin glares at me.

He places it down and lays his full body on the blanket. "Find your own blanket," He mumbles under his breath, pretending to be upset.

"Oh, look I found one," I yelled back, as I tried to push Subin off. I figure tickling him was the way to go. And we end up wrestling until Subin does the unthinkable. He places a kiss right on the tip of my nose and my mind goes blank.

My instinct tells me to kiss him back; But not like his kiss at all. I wanted to press mine against his and taste his lips.

We both froze wondering what each other's next move and Subin was the first to break the awkward silence by laughing in my face.

He climbed off my body and laid his head in my lap. Partly, it was a relief, I don't even know if Subin wanted my kisses. But there was still that tiny bit of me that felt regret; Would I always wonder what it would feel like if our lips ever touched?

As he looks up at me, I comb my fingers through his hair. I've never felt more happy or more gay in my life.

Subin told me every unimportant fact about his life. No part of our conversation had a deep meaning, nothing made sense, but we lasted hours laughing at the simplest things.

He didn't give me reasons to smile, he was my reason. And as romantic as that sounds, for a while it was hell, because a part of me knew, people didn't stick around forever. I was bound to mess it up somehow.