My sisters, bad boy

Chapter 30

Jacobs POV

"NO!" I ran to her and yanked the knife away from her and threw it across the place to a tree. I had sat on the ground beside of where she sat and I grabbed her and pulled her into my lap. She sobbed horribly into my chest. Her arms wrapped around her knees.

I caressed her in a hug. My arms wrapped around hers, and her knees. There was no way shed be able to get away. It's not like she tried. She cried and cried into my chest. I didn't care. I'm glad she was in my arms. "God ash. You scared me to death. I missed you so much." With that, I start petting her head.

Her head was against my chest as my chin was resting softly against the top of her head.

She didn't answer. "What were you thinking?"

No....I can't believe I jut asked that. Shit I'm a screwup.

She sniffed and let go of her knees to wrap her arms around my neck. She buried her head in m neck and I wrapped my arms carefully around her back.

"I'm sorry ash, I shouldn't have-" I started to say before she Interrupted "don't."

How much I missed the sound of her beautiful voice. "I.....I thought no one cared about me. That everyone would be better off without me. Everyone hated me-" "stop."

I knew she could sense the anger in my voice. The sadness. I didn't want we to tell me all those things. It jut made ME feel bad. Like I never did enough for her.

Maybe I didn't.

I felt the tears come to my eyes also. "Your not better off dead. Neither am I. Ash I love you. Don't you get that. I'm madly in love with you. You make me a better person. You make me who I am. Ash your a part of me. And if I lose you, I will go crazy. You should've seen me when you went missing. I was tearing my hair out. I didn't sleep, eat, or do anything but look for you.

"Ash.....I want you so much. I already have you but I knows there is still things you don't tell me. That's a part of life. But you need to trust me. You have no idea how much I'm in love with you. Your my whole life. Your the one who makes me happy. The one who is always happy. And now you try to commit suicide? I had no idea it was that bad. I will never let you out of my sight again, you hear me? ever."

I couldn't help it. I had to tell her the truth. I couldn't hold back. And I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't let her out of my sight.

I am going to protect her with my life.

Wither she wants it or not.

***

Ashley's POV

He found me. He....actually found me. I wanted to smile but couldn't. What he jut told me was leaving me breathless. He was serious. He meant everything he said.

He really did love me.

Just as much as I loved him.

I used to never believe in such a thing as 'love' it just was never my thing. I had only ever dated one person other than Jacob. His name was milo. He had bright blond hair with a couple of brown streaks in it. He had freckles covering his upper cheeks right under his eyes. Which were painted with brown.

It was more of a friends thing rather than dating. We were now close than me and Paul. But he moved away after we hit eight grade.

I cried into Jacobs neck. I wanted to say something. To do something. But my arms were glued around his neck. Not moving at all. His were rubbing my back up and down slowly. Trying to calm me down.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He pulled back just enough so he can through his eyes to mine. He was frowning.

And crying.

Jacob conner.....was crying.

"Don't.....don't say that. I should've done more for you. I should've-" I put my index finger to hai mouth. "You've be amazing Jacob. Your not the reason I did this. You and Paul were the ones who have kept me sain for this long. I guess I just....couldn't take it anymore. So I'm sorry. Mainly for scaring you, or making you feel like this was your fault.....because it wasn't." I said.

He moved one hand up to cup around my face. "I didn't mean what I said. I would hate it for me To have never met you. I would hate it. Ash....I love you so much."

I looked into his deep blue eyes. The ones I saw that first day when I fell off the bleachers. The ones that made me fall for him. The ones that made me fall In love with him. Those eyes told me everything I need to know.

"I just want to forget all of this." I admitted. "Me to baby.....me to." He whispered, pulling my head to his chest. Then started petting it once again.

I am so stupid.

I gulped before speaking. "I'm hungry."

"Me to."

We didn't move.

"Can....can we talk about this while we eat? Please?" I asked. He looked away and smiled a little. "Just two more things." He said. "What?" Is asked. "For one, you answer al I my questions without any more."

I nodded.

"Second. This." He pulled me to him by the back of my neck. Grasping my hair softly as he pressed his cold ups against my freezing ones.

I wanted to smile, but what had happened just moments before mad me not able to do it. Even when the butterflies went into my stomach, I still felt the aching pain of what I had done and how stupid I was.

I should've known this would happen. that Jacob DID care about me more than anything in the world. that he would find me and we will never be able to get past this.

I knew I made a stupid decision.

And it was because I wasn't thinking of Jacob.

***

"Thank you so Much." I said finishing my third pancake. It had been early early in the morning.

"Don't thank me. Just answer my questions." He said. I frowned and nodded.

"Who mad you do it?"

I sighed. "Abby. Carly. Bystanders who watched it and encouraged it."

And it was true. "I'm so sorry for that ash. I wish-" "just....ask the next question." I blurted out.

He sighed. "What are you scared of?"

I have been dreading this question for the longest of time. I knew one day he would ask me. but I didn't suspect it to be so soon.

"Don't make fun of me, but.....hospitals."

He didn't laugh. Didn't smile. Didn't smirk. nothing. "That explains about the whole thing the other week with your shoulder." He said. "Yea." I mumbled.

"Why?"

"It's like telling you your about to die. or you have two weeks to live." I can't believe I'm admitting this. But I need I trust him. And I do.

"Last.....do you love me?"

I smiled "Are you crazy?! I love you to death Jacob! I'll I to the top of a building and yell 'I'm in love with Jacob conner!' At the top of my lungs!" he smiled.

"There's that beautiful smile I missed." He said. I blushed.

Maybe this thing could pass more easily than I thought. I sure hoped so.