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Baby

The very last emotion that washed over me was regret

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The very last emotion that washed over me was regret. This is the state of feeling repentant over something that failed.  So this is what really defeat feels like.

Defeat.

In a flash it brought me these questions, What do retrievers regret most the moment they knew their dying? The moment they look death in the eye for him to take them?

Is it failed relationships or not even having one? Is it maybe missing opportunities to be real normal people? or just maybe simply living life more?
As expected, these questions are only answered when it's too late.

As for my luck tries to avoid me, my regrets wasn't the same.

Regret said hello the minute I took the gun and aim it at Charles's head.  I hear all his men guns' elegant cocking ready to fire at me.  I'm surrounded by his men.

I look around for a possible way out, but the only exit is behind Charles and so many of his men blocking it. 
The pressure is real, I feel my sweat dripping more, His eyes were so bright and his wide menacing smile is telling me, he will enjoy every single moment the minute he gets his hands on me. 

I look at the gun and back at Charles and look at the gun again. For a quick second, My vision focus on the fingerprint scan indicator on my gun.  Once this gun recognizes a different finger print this will release a painful jolt of electricity.

This was my exit, I've seen what this savage man is capable of and I won't endure being tortured for his sick amusement.  The second I pull the trigger this will electrocute my body, shocking my core, good enough to disable my whole upper body temporarily but if I pointed this closer to my brain I will surely perish.

I knew it's time for my demise, I grew tired of this roller coasters emotions pack in one day.  I wasn't Carly, this life was never meant for me.

So my regrets.

I was only a few hours flight to my dream home near the beach, why didn't I chose to go there on my first year of hiding instead of some old city to have those damn paper trails.  Why did I wait to adopt a dog or two like I said I would but the most part I regret is why I didn't use that chance when they gave me the laptop to send my goodbye to Carly.

I look at Charles shock face, As I put the gun on my head. As soon as I pulled the trigger, the room was completely dark, the shock made my eyes rolled back on its own, I feel my body fall on the ground, feeling the excruciating pain, I still hear Charles's voice and his laughter on the background, I waited a moment, enduring the pain, trying to hold on to the gun that shocks my body until it completely took over me.

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