Beg Harder!

19

BABY

The notion that I am being watched has fully taken over my mind, driving me insane. This is much worse than being in Charles's clutches; I'm constantly afraid that Charles or his men will come for me. The pressure is never-ending.

I can't sleep. I can't eat properly. I stay in the tub and stare blankly on the wall.

If not on the wall I stare most of the time at the Nanogex IV bag, just sitting on top of an old table with no chairs that came with the house.

The hospital nurse had this in a bag for me before I left. I was informed that I was clutching it tight when someone found me.

I close my eyes and pray for a single tear. "Come on, cry, get it out," I yell at myself. I can't even weep, despite my best efforts; not a single tear has fallen from my eyes.

I'm not sure what's going on with me, but the way I'm acting is clearly a condition of shock, or am I suffering from some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder? Whatever the case may be, it must be managed. It's something I've had to do more for. I tried to resist it, but my head had become even more twisted.

No one will ever believe what Charles had done to me as there were no scars but my mind remembers every single thing he has done to my body. It's etched in my brain forever.

I last recall disengaging those mechanical insects before waking up in a public hospital. Doctors and authorities were questioning me, but I knew better than to answer, so I lied and told them I couldn't remember anything.

I know enough about having a brain concussion, the result and everything didn't support my claim. However, the physician who was in charge of seeing me turned a blind eye. I knew right away that she is under Charles's payroll.

Who knows, who else is watching me. No one can be trusted.

Before I checked myself out of the hospital, I looked at my bank account and all the money I wired Charles to save Astor's life was back. Did Charles really keep his word about letting me go? I made my way back to the cabin.

My old truck is even parked outside. Everything is where I left it. Charles had someone take care of the rent and sent the money for an additional two months; maybe he had intended to keep me for that long and had changed his mind, or was it because I genuinely defeated him at his game?

I made the decision to leave everything the moment I walked into the shower, my breath caught in my throat as I remembered vivid memories of how it all began. I just grabbed my bag, dashed outside, and sped away from this location in my vehicle.