The Cracks in Perfection

The Tears in Her Eyes

Chapter 6:

Morgan

Mallory was still not back Sunday night to say goodbye to Graham. He was dressed in his military uniform and a carpool was in front of our house to come pick him up. He and Mia had been hugging and crying for a very long time. Finally, she kissed him, whispered something in his ear, and walked towards our front steps to sit down.

Paisley rushed to him with a flood of tears. He picked her up and spun her around. She cried on his shoulder.

“I’m going to miss you so much Graham crackers.”

“I’m going to miss you too kid.” There was a ghost of a smile behind his sad eyes. He put Paisley down to give Parker a bone-crushing hug. When he turned to me, I realized I hadn’t been crying.

Until then.

I wound my arms around his shoulders and cried harder than I had cried earlier that week in Mrs. Heveret’s office. I cried harder than I cried myself to sleep the night I learned Graham was leaving.

I sobbed into his shoulder. Graham had been my best friend my entire life. I loved him more than anything in the world. He was my big brother. I looked up to him. I couldn’t lose him. And right then, I felt like I was losing him.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Morgan, listen to me.” He held my shoulders and arms length from him. “You are going to be just fine without me. It’s only for a few months.”

“Graham, a year and a half is not a few months. You’re going into a war.”

“Don’t think about it like I’m going forever, we’ll be able to Skype and email all the time. Don’t you worry. It’ll be like I never left.” I didn’t say what I was thinking. I was thinking that if he was killed, he would be gone forever.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I nodded my head and let him say goodbye to Charlotte and Dad. Karen was still here from the night before, so she engulfed me in one of her huge, Karen-will-make-it-better hugs. It didn’t stop my tears. When Graham finally got into the car, he waved out the window and we all watched as it turned down the street and didn’t come back.

My mood throughout the night got significantly better, but by the time I laid down to sleep everything came crashing down on me. Karen had gone home and everyone else had to deal with their own worries for my older brother. I cried and cried and cried until there were no tears left to come out of me. Only then did I fall into a restless sleep.

***

            I woke up Monday morning and threw every thought about Graham to the back of my mind. I did not want to think about it at all today. There would be plenty of time for missing him the next day and the next day. I told myself that today would be a day to learn to live with it and hopefully it would help with the following months to come.

 Mallory was still not back with the car. Charlotte was beyond furious and my dad was plain old worried. She wasn’t picking up her phone and the parents seemed pretty off the edge. So, in light of this predicament, I had to take the bus. It’s not that I hated taking the bus, I would listen to music the whole time anyways.