sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀғʟʏ 🦋 || 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘸𝘢𝘰𝘪

🦋 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞 🦋

'𝑰𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒚'

❌ ////// ❌

My life is fairly normal.

I guess it could be better though. Not that it's bad it's just...unsatisfactory. All the things I want, I don't seem to get.

I know that sounds selfish, maybe it is, but to be honest, it just feels unfair at this point. It's unfair how I had ranted to one of my best friends, Hanamaki, about my crush and it turned out the next day, they got together. My crush also happened to be my other best friend, Matsukawa.

I'm happy for them, really, but it's still kind of crappy. I know Hanamaki didn't do it to be cruel, he cried for hours afterwards saying that he too was in love with Mattsun and that the latter was the one to ask him out. The thing is, I wanted both of them.

But they have each other and they're happy so, so am I.

Sometimes when the two are hanging out alone together, I'll get lonely and start thinking about who else I could hang with. I'd pick up my phone and go to call Oikawa but at some point along in our friendship he stopped picking up, he stopped answering texts, he even stopped coming to school.

I was worried and tried going to his house a few times but all the lights were always off, no one ever seemed to be home so I kind of just, gave up.

I spend most of my days following Makki and Mattsun around, they were like a rapid ocean, my heart was an anchor waiting to be found as it held down this boat of burdensome love.

That's right, love.

For my two best friends who are currently in a relationship. With each other. At some point in my life, I had convinced myself I was in love with Oikawa, but he left my life as fast as he had dropped in it.

I remember meeting him for the first time. I was eight and he was nine. He was this scrawny little kid at the playground, he was standing at the top of the slide that I was desperate to go down, I was kicking pebbles and waiting for him to go but he wasn't. Oikawa was just shouting, shouting about taking over the world one day. I thought he was the most awesome, yet most absurd, Person I had ever met.

I was fifteen when I realised I had fallen for him.

I was sixteen when he stopped coming to school.

Now I'm seventeen and harbouring feelings for my two unavailable best friends.

Maybe my life isn't that normal.

My home life is though, My dad is your everyday office worker, working nine-to-five, and my mom works at a bank with pretty much the same hours. My parents both love me very much, they give me the attention and love I need while also giving me the same space I need. My mom always cooks a fresh dinner and my dad always makes sure to check how my day was.

Everything else was a mess though.

I've been missing Oikawa more and more lately, I want to find out why he had suddenly disappeared for a year but at the same time, it's not like we're friends anymore so it would probably be weird.

I know he's still alive. He had liked one of my Instagram posts a while ago, it was a selfie I took at the arcade with Makki and Mattsun. I went to DM him but he declined my message request and went offline. Maybe he hates me, but why?

I get I can be quite intimidating sometimes, but is it really enough for someone to stop coming to school?

Maybe I'm just being selfish, the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe something serious is going on and I'm worried about being too intimidating in my perfect life.

Either way, I miss Oikawa, I miss him a lot. Maybe I'll finally muster up the courage to swing by his place again.