sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀғʟʏ 🦋 || 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘸𝘢𝘰𝘪

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Iwaizumi had left, giving Oikawa a moment to breathe.

He liked Iwaizumi's company but it felt like too much compared to the amount of human contact he's had in the past year.

It made his chest feel cold and his feet go numb. His hands itched to scratch at his skin and get away of the layer that craved the attention.

Oikawa stood in the middle of his room, staring at the nail sticking out from when he put a clock up, it had broken and he'd taken it down.

The clock ticked but that hands didn't move, he didn't need another reason to go completely insane.

The only thing he had to contrast the blandness was an alien plushie that his father had given him before he died. After he passed, Oikawa had shoved the plushie under his bed, not being able to stomach the reminder.

Sometimes when he got extra lonely, he would glance under there, staring into the darkness of under his bed, barely being able to make out the outline of the plushie, then he'd look away to forget once again.

Oikawa closed his curtains that were previously opened, sitting on his small bed and pushing himself up against the corner of the wall, wrapping his arms around his legs, breathing even and yet so erratic.

-

Iwaizumi sat at his desk, Mattsun and Makki were still out together so he didn't really have anything to do.

His parents had gotten home and they'd talked for a bit but that was pretty much it. Iwaizumi had mentioned that he'd reconnected with Oikawa and his mum had asked about Oikawa's mother.

Iwaizumi didn't know, she didn't seem to be around. He'd told her that and she'd sighed 'well, not surprising.' She had said. It confused Iwaizumi, why wasn't it surprising? She was always there when they were younger.

But his mother was probably talking about Oikawa's father dying so he didn't mention it further, his father had been friends with Oikawa's and it was a hard blow on him so Iwaizumi dropped the topic and sauntered off to his room.

So here he was now, sitting there, lonely and bored.

Iwaizumi huffed, spinning himself in his seat, stopping when he was facing his bed, he thought about how Matsukawa had snuggled up to him, how he played with his hair and nuzzled into his neck.

Then he started thinking about what he was most likely doing with Hanamaki right now. Holding him, making love to him with gentle touches and whispered reassurances that he struggles to produce through the rippling pleasure that Iwaizumi knew they both had to be feeling.

He thought about how Hanamaki is probably tugging on Mattsun's hair or gripping onto his back, feeling his muscles flex just how Iwaizumi had observed the movement of Matsukawa's shoulder blades that morning.

He wanted that, but not just with anyone, with them.

He wanted Hanamaki's death grip and Matsukawa's soft touches, he wanted to hear Toru whispering his name over and over and-

When did Toru get in that picture?

It was never a question as to wether Iwaizumi like him or not but that was a year ago. He had thought that fire had burned out when he met Mattsun and Makki. Clearly not.

Maybe it was their reunion, how Oikawa looked so beautiful in his dim kitchen lights, how he was soft but still somewhat witty, how he had a habit of running his fingers through his hair every few minutes or how he still remembered Iwaizumi's favourite tea or his early obsession with bugs.

Sure he missed his old best friend, but he can now say that he loves who Oikawa has become.

His smile, although rare, it was softer and more welcoming, his movements were hesitant but gentle.

His lips always looked so soft, and his hands, so slender.

He was undeniably gorgeous.

Matsukawa was undeniably hot, and Hanamaki was undeniably adorable.

And, undeniably, pretty certainly, positively, definitely - the list goes on- he was in love with them.

All three of them.

And he was sick of pulling away from the urge to hold Hanamaki's hand, to caress Matsukawa's cheek, to push Oikawa's fallen strands of hair back behind his ear.

Iwaizumi wanted Makki and Mattsun to meet Oikawa more than ever now. He wanted them to see, to undoubtedly notice Oikawa's beauty, to be so enthralled in it, and him, that they can't deny it either.

But would it be the same for Iwaizumi, what if they were to fall in love with Oikawa and he got left behind?

He wasn't beautiful like Oikawa, or gentle like Matsukawa, or adorable like Hanamki.

Iwaizumi was gruff and rough around the edges, he was sheltered in his embarrassment of how he fell for all three of the most important people in his life.

There was no way they could possibly love him back.

Iwaizumi sighed, turning away from his bed. He shouldn't be complaining, he has two amazing best friends and he's slowly starting to reconnect his friendship with Oikawa, he has well off parents who love him and good grades overall.

It really shouldn't be bothering him that much.

-

The aftermath was great. Sweaty yet euphoric. They took a bath and were now cuddling.

Matsukawa had his arms wrapped tight around Hanamaki's abdomen, his head cocooned into the back of the man's neck.

This was how it was meant to be.

But still, Hanamaki couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. That someone was missing.

It was a burning desire that he had kept anchored down, it was lodged into a pit in his stomach. It was nauseating but so tempting to grasp and claw at.

But here now, with Matsukawa's arms wrapped around him and a warmness in his stomach, there's no where that he'd rather be.