sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀғʟʏ 🦋 || 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘸𝘢𝘰𝘪

𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲

"So..." Iwaizumi cleared his throat, he didn't know what to say right now. He didn't know what was too sensitive to be talked about.

Oikawa was quiet, waiting for Iwaizumi to continue. 

Iwaizumi wanted to know if it was his fault. If he was the one who pushed Oikawa too far, if his attempts to talk and to help were actually way out of his reach.

Should he have done what he did? Should he have just let Oikawa go when he said he was tired. Iwaizumi wondered now if "but iwa-chan I'm tiredddd" meant something else.

The last time Oikawa had called him Iwa-chan was back when they had first reunited. Every time it set his skin on fire.

It didn't take alot to realise that he loved him. It didn't take alot to fall for Makki and Mattsun either. When Iwaizumi fell he fell hard.

He didn't care about Hanamaki's heartbreaker title, the past boyfriends and girlfriends that all claim to hate his guts. He didn't care about Matsukawa's smoking habits or the lack of a grip he had on most things.

He didn't care about Oikawa's insecurities, about everything that had driven him mad to isolation.

He'd always stick by them.

But he was scared that they were slipping away, scared that Hanamaki would lose his self worth, scared that one day the cigarettes would kill Matsukawa, scared that Oikawa was already gone.

"Iwaizumi?" Oikawa had bought back his attention, eyes wide and curious. "What were you going to say?"

"Oh, uhm-" Iwaizumi stopped to clear his throat. "Did i push you too far?" He heard his own voice break halfway through. 

Oikawa inhaled sharply, he opened his mouth to answer but Iwaizumi kept going. He had said what he was too scared to do so now the dam had broke, he wasn't so scared.

"I know I should've just let you go to bed. I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I don't want you to go!" He was hysterical, his voice raising, thick and wobbly with tears.

"I don't want to lose any of you guys!Issei-" Iwaizumi turned to him, gesturing wildly. "Those cigarettes will kill you one day! And I can't stand to watch you wither away like that."

Matsukawa's eyes were wide but Iwaizumi quickly turned to Hanamaki. "Taka. Don't let what others say about you give you an opportunity to slip away from the people who think the absolute world of you!"

Iwaizumi turned back to Oikawa, tears staining his puffy, red cheeks. His eyebrows were furrowed in frustration. "Toru, i was scared. I was so scared. I'm sorry i pushed you too far, pushed you into not even wanting to live anymore. I'm so so sorry! I love you, i love you, i lo-"

Iwaizumi was interrupted by Oikawa suddenly cupping his face, his lanky arms stretching out to caress his cheeks. "Hajime." He smiled softly, his eyes rimmed red. "You're okay. Breathe."

Iwaizumi inhaled sharply, gulping it down before exhaling shakily. He felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind.

Matsukawa had pressed himsef against Iwaizumi's back, placing a soft kiss to the back of his neck. Oikawa kept on talking. "It's not you I'm just...I'm just tired and...and a little messed up. I miss my parents and i miss my childhood confidence."

Oikawa took a moment. Hanamaki slid beside his hospital bed, snaking an arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry i scared you. I'm sorry i even did this in the first place. I'm not gonna lie...I'm not not upset it didn't work...but...I'm sorry i put you guys here." 

No one spoke. Matsukawa sniffled quietly into Iwaizumi's back. Hanamaki tightened his arm around Oikawa's shoulders. Iwaizumi had fallen fully into Oikawa's embrace.

"Guys...I don't think I'm quite ready for school but...maybe we can go on a trip together. Just us."

He felt Iwaizumi smile into his collarbone.

He knew it would eventually be alright.