sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀғʟʏ 🦋 || 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘸𝘢𝘰𝘪

𝐃𝐚𝐝

TW// mentions of throwing up and questions about suicide

As an emetophobe myself, this chap was kinda uneasy to write but i hope it's okay for you :]

•

The hospital wasn't the ideal place to wake up.

Oikawa would've preferred if he didn't at all. The feeling of an IV and the scratchy hospital blankets sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine.

Turning his head, Oikawa saw Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa sprawled out on the hospital chairs. They couldn't be comfortable like that either.

Hanamaki was immersing himself in a book, Matsukawa was scrolling through his phone with Iwaizumi peering tiredly over his shoulder.

They hadn't noticed he was awake.

Oikawa kept staring at them. Even now, his mother wasn't here.

Oikawa cleared his throat, and watched in amusement as the three heads of his boyfriends whipped towards him.

"Toru! You're awake!" Hanamaki exclaimed, disregarding his book as he jumped up from his chair. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa smiled and stood up as well.

Oikawa felt a wave of nausea hit him but tried his best to push it down as a doctor walked in.

"Ah, Oikawa, I see you're awake. That's great. How are you feeling?"

Oikawa shrugged as the wave of nausea hit twice as hard.

"Like I'm going to be sick. No, I'm definitely going to be sick. Right now." Oikawa sat up suddenly, his IV pulling slightly as he lurched forward.

The doctor moved quick, placing a bowl in Oikawa's lap and encouraging him to vomit into it.

Oikawa did, his breath was laboured as he heaved afterwards, a few tears escaping. He always cried when he threw up.

"Throwing up is encouraged, it's your body's way of trying to push out all the content you swallowed. We'll start you on some anti-nausea medicine but I'm afraid the vomiting will still happen."

Oikawa didn't mind, he could deal with a little vomiting.

This doctor seemed nice as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and moved the bowl to his bed stand.

"I'm Dr. Kiyoko, you have a button here that will alert me if you need anything. Just press it if you need a fresh bowl or anything like that."

"Can i have some water?" Oikawa's voice was scratchy, it burnt his throat.

"Ofcourse. I'll be right back." Dr. Kiyoko left, leaving Oikawa with Iwaizumi, mattsun and makki.

An awkward silence fell between them. The doctor had come back in a moment later with a water and to set up the tube for the anti-nausea medication. The whole time his boyfriend's eyes were on him. Silently staring.

When they were alone once again, Matsukawa decided to sit down, somewhat breaking through the awkward silence with a heavy sigh.

"Toru...why-" Matsukawa was interrupted by the door opening once again. He furrowed his brows in irritation.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." It was Suga. Oikawa felt his heart rate increase. The beeping of the machine beside him told the whole room of his anxiety.

Suga looked around the room, looking at Iwaizumi and Hanamaki, glancing at Matsukawa for only a second before his eyes settled on Oikawa.

"So...Oikawa. Where's your mother?" Suga crossed his arms, giving Oikawa a soft smile. "Shouldn't she be here?"

"Oh, yeah bu-"

"Here! I'm here!"

Suga turned towards the door at the sudden exclamation, looking the huffing woman up and down.

"You're...?" Suga seemed cautious, maybe even suspicious. Granted it wasn't actually his mother, it was Mrs. Iwaizumi.

Oikawa glanced over at Iwaizumi who was proudly smiling over at his mother.

"I'm Hana Oikawa. Toru's mother. Sorry I'm late, had some stuff to deal with at work. I got here as fast i could." Mrs. Iwaizumi walked over to Oikawa's bedside, placing a hand over his. "I'm so glad you're okay honey."

Oikawa's eyes were wide, his mouth was hung open in surprise but he quickly closed it to smile at his 'mother'.

Iwaizumi must have texted her at some point.

Suga clapped his hands together, gaining the attention of the room. "Right! Well Atleast you're here now." Suga crossed his arms, smiling and directing his attention to Oikawa. "I need to talk to you alone Toru."

Oikawa swallowed down his nerves, nodding shyly. He really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Especially not about the fact that he may have tried to kill himself. Everybody else had already left the room though, Mrs. Iwaizumi leaving him with a kiss on his forehead.

It really was just in her nature to be a mother. Iwaizumi was so lucky.

A moment later, another man entered the room, smiling softly at Oikawa.

"Toru, this Dr. Azumane, a psychiatrist. He's going to ask you some questions, talk to you for a while. No need to be nervous, he's a lovely man." Oikawa nodded at Suga, nervously turning towards Dr. Azumane.

This was a man he didn't know, trying to talk to him in a place he didn't feel comfortable and about such personal things. His anxiety didn't let him speak. It hit like a dagger, stabbing through his stomach and infesting his insides. The anxiety.

Suga left the room, muttering about going to talk to Oikawa's 'mother.'

Oikawa fumbled with his hands before reaching for his water and generously sipping at it. His head was pounding as the nausea crept back up.

It was a dull feeling.

"Hello Toru. Don't worry, I don't bite." Dr. Azumane laughed at himself quietly. "I get you're probably scared. It says here that you suffer with Anxiety quite badly." Oikawa looked down at the folder Azumane was reading from.

He nodded, still not being able to bring himself to speak.

"Well that's okay, I'll try and make this as comfortable as possible for you, okay?" Oikawa nodded again.

Azumane's voice was soft, welcoming. Oikawa reminded himself that he was probably trained to speak that way, he reminded himself to trust no one.

Azumane started asking questions and Oikawa gained the courage to answer eventually, most only a few words that probably didn't make sense but Azumane seemed to piece them together just fine. He was probably used to this.

He was writing into a folder before stopping suddenly, placing his pen down, putting his full attention on Oikawa. He shivered, Azumane's stare was intense, despite his small smile.

"Oikawa...why did you try to kill yourself?" It was a question that was bound to be asked and yet Oikawa still tensed, his fidgeting hands freezing.

"I-...my dad."

Azumane furrowed his brows, looking down at the folder. "It says here that your father is deceased."

"Mhm." It was quiet for a minute, Oikawa turned away from Azumane, looking down at his hands.

"Did you- did you want to maybe be with him?"

Oikawa sat straight suddenly, fumbling for the bowl on his bedside as he threw up again. Azumane was slightly startled before he sat back quietly, letting Oikawa collect himself as he swallowed down harsh breaths.

"I- I'm sorry."

"Why don't i come back in a bit? Give you some time to collect your thoughts?"

Oikawa nodded, not really hearing anything he said through the ringing in his ears.

Azumane left and Oikawa was left sat in a hospital bed alone, a bowl full of puke on his lap and a growing headache.

He hoped his dad couldn't see him now.