Capturing Time [H.S.]

Chapter 18

Month One-

Willow-

He left. He walked away without looking back and took my heart with him.

Everything around me reminds me of him.

My apartment.

My studio.

My dad's house.

The bookstore.

The tattoo shop.

Main street.

Coffee.

Tea.

TV.

Music.

The beach.

Yoga.

It chokes me. All of it. Even photography.

I can't look anywhere without seeing him. 

It doesn't help that he seems to be completely unaffected. 

I'm pathetic enough that I stalk his Instagram.

The tattoo shop in London, the one he left me for... The remodel is going well.

He posts pictures with captions like coming soon, and can't wait to have a gun in my hand again, and London never felt more like home.

It hurts.

I slam my laptop shut and take a deep breath. Then I pull the blanket over my head and snuggle into the couch.

I can sleep away my pain.

---

It turns out you can't sleep away the pain.

I've never been through a break up before. Obviously.

Harry was my first.

Well, everything.

I'm spiraling.

I know it.

Everyone around me knows it.

The need to run is starting to become stronger than anything else.

I have an offer, one I've been considering for a while.

I've been offered the chance to work underneath a photographer friend of mine.

One of my professors. He's supposed to go on tour with a band. Only his wife is pregnant and she's due at any moment. He can't back out now. But I can go with him, and when he leaves I can take over for him. He emailed me about it a week ago. Asked for a definitive answer by tomorrow.

I'm taking it.

I need a change of scenery.

A big one.

---

Colson runs his fingers through his hair. "You sure you're ready for this?"

I sigh, looking up at my big brother. "I can't be here...Not now."

He shakes his head. "You're only 20. You'll..."

"Don't." He's going to tell me I'm only 20. That I'll find someone else. That I'm young. And there are so many other fish in the sea.

I don't want any other fish.

Fish are stupid.

I finish packing my equipment and move to start packing my up my clothes.